Here's where we start to get fuckin' weird: a tooth-achingly twee, if well-produced, musical version explicitly meant to capitalize on the success of 1968's Oliver!...because a Dickens musical is a Dickens musical, right?
- Albert Finney's Scrooge isn't terribly villainous (despite having an entire song called "I Hate People") and comes off as more of a silly manchild edgelord, than a competent businessman. It is far too on the nose, for instance, that Scrooge is going around collecting loan payments from street vendors and the Punch-and-Judy man currently performing a show on his way home from the office, on Christmas Eve.
- And I mean silly. "When I see the indolent classes, sitting on their indolent arses, drinking from their indolent glasses" is a clever line, but it's also far too poetic for this dopey Scrooge.
- This version adds a long sequence of Bob Cratchit and the kids Christmas shopping, in a quaint street scene right out of a modern Christmas Market; it should be far out of his price range, but for generous hawkers giving him good deals on account of knowing the size of his family.
- Here comes the star power: Sir Alec Guinness, slumming it harder than Star Wars, as sullen bleach-white Marley. And I mean, look, he's great and all, but he seems to have decided here that acting ghostly is equal parts "miming swimming through air" and drunken-sounding growling, with the occasional whiny yell for spice?
- There is a definite lineage between Marley's song here showing off the tormented phantoms in the air, and the NBC version where Jason Alexander summons a horde of cash-themed greed zombies, but honestly, the latter might be better done?
- Every pre-redemption Scrooge would be a Brexit supporter, but this is the one who would most be into it for petty culture war reasons, probably fixated on hating the French.
- This Christmas Past sequent may be the most overlong and indulgent rendition of Young Scrooge and fiancée Belle; there's countryside carriage ride, river punting, and romantic archery scenes that could have come out of Barry Lyndon.
- However, this is also possibly the most opulent feast of any adaptation for Christmas Present's establishing scene, and I will give it a lot of credit for that; the set and art design here are wonderful and do well in emphasizing how much of a giant, threatening alien presence he is despite the jollity.
- Meanwhile, Scrooge is getting silly drunk from Christmas Present's proffered cup of "the milk of human kindness," and it's so goofy it undermines much of the remaining spirit adventures; it suggests he just needs some vices, rather than wallowing in self-imposed ascetic misery.
- Christmas Future shows Scrooge that the entire neighbourhood is spontaneously celebrating his death - "It's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me," the leader chants. Which works, I guess, but seems less personal than his usual horror at the charwomen stealing his shit and business associates only caring to the extent of scoring a free lunch at his funeral?
- Now we come to the most distinctive part of this version: Christmas Past pushes Scrooge into an open grave, where he falls endlessly until waking up in good old-fashioned fire-and-brimstone Hell...only for Marley to show up, jerk him around some more, and "show [him] to [his] office."
- See, his ironic eternal punishment is that his wickedness was impressive enough (it's really not) to be appointed Satan's personal clerk, in a freezing cold, rat-infested hell replica of his own office, and be treated as badly as he treated Cratchit! DOHOHO
- Which, admittedly, is a fun idea? But making Marley the messenger sort of undercuts his first scene's talk of redemption.
- Anyway, on Christmas Morning, this version also has a long victory lap sequence, but so much of it is singing and dancing with street urchins that I'm not sure it counts? This is the Oliver! influence showing through. It also involves Scrooge in a Santa outfit by the end, the urchins' chanting that he must be Father Christmas no longer sourly ironic, but the visual effect is very much Mr. Burns wishing Springfield a "Merry Fishmas" with his decrepitude.
- Scrooge then forgives all the street vendors' outstanding debts, and the leader of the funeral celebration in the alternate future proceeds to lead a reprise - "That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me," but again, now unironic.
- Another astute observation from my girlfriend that had never occurred to me: this was written backwards. The semi-bizarre sequences of "I Hate People" and "Thank You Very Much" (spiteful) had to have been written after "I Like Life" and "Thank You Very Much" (genuine), which appear as reprises in the narrative, but are far more elaborate - i.e., just to set up the much longer ensemble set piece in the finale.
FINAL RATING: 7/10. This feels sort of like a poetry counterpart to the prose of the George C. Scott version? It's an adequate adaptation with decent production value and an eminently redeemable Scrooge, but you could do a bit better!
