delan

god of no trades, master of none

dog. ao!!

Ⓐ{DHD,utistic} doggirl • bird photography, retrocomputing, speedrunning, osu, rust, (insert special interest here) • 1/6 of the servo team at @igalia • ≡ƒÅ│∩╕ÅΓÇìΓܺ∩╕Å <3 @ariashark @bark

acabzettaiwebpassion
tygsunxenia
monofurnow

a
wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa

web (plus atom feeds)
shuppy.org/
you may also know me as
www.azabani.com/

jessfromonline
@jessfromonline

when i'm worried about (genuinely distressing) behavior from queer teens online, i remind myself: they're currently teens. that current behavior not necessarily a harbinger of any particular future!

if i judged my generation that way: as a preteen i was a homophobe (then came out as bi) then as a teen i was a transphobe (then came out as trans)! and i know i am far, far from the only one in my generation for whom that's true!

is it an issue worth addressing? sure! but a kids these days moral panic both doesn't serve anyone & also just isnt right!

do i think there's a concerning wave of "puritanism" (more accurately, dangerously aggressive & unhealthy intracommunity policing that replicates larger societal bigotries and scapegoating of queer people by attacking them as deviant, degenerates, pedophiles, etc.)? to some degree, yes! but that doesn't mean it's a guaranteed future of that same generation! they're literally teenagers! they're figuring stuff out rn!

queer teens even being in the position of knowing they're queer early enough to have those sorts of intracommunity issues was a rarity in my generation of queer teens. it certainly isn't any worse than how i (and many queer adults i know) were genuinely bigots at that age! our behavior was a replication of internalized societal systems (and also a form of self-policing!) just as this wave of self and intracommunal policing! when you're under the thumb of parents, schools, etc. it takes awhile to extricate that sort of thinking! but it usually happens!

this doesn't mean that we as queer adults should do nothing. we're responsible for setting up the communal structures that transmit knowledge of queer history—of the AIDS crisis, of the way drummed-up accusations of sexual deviance & pedophilia have always been used to attack queer people, of the way that queer sexuality is demonized despite always being one of our strengths even & especially in forms that make cisheterosexual society uncomfortable—but making that knowledge available is actually more difficult when we pretend that the behavior of queer teens today is any more worrying than idk, the unfortunate behaviors demonstrated by every other cohort of teenagers ever! it's a process of learning & growing & understanding the world.

i know as an adult with a large online presence i am sometimes genuinely fearful of the incredibly aggressive policing, brigading, & harassment that certain types of intracommunally policed queer teens engage in, and i often want distance from that, but that just means we need healthier avenues of engagement than Online currently provides, and it doesn't mean these people should be doomered about when it is very much an expected process that we all went through if we put it in context!


You must log in to comment.

in reply to @jessfromonline's post:

yesyesyesyes. i feel like a lot of people i knew as a teen online swore they wouldn't forget what it was like to be a teen online and then as we've gotten older... they have, and suddenly expect teens to have the same kind of worldly knowledge and emotional capacity as adults 10+ years older than them. it's important to listen to and to try to provide information/resources to younger people and to engage with them as people whose opinions matter but also teenagers are just going to say silly shit online because they are, as i once saw it put, afflicted with the condition of being 15. sometimes you do in fact gotta leave them to grow out of it. the nature of online spaces right now also means that they're having these conversations essentially "in public" where it's the norm to be posting on large-scale social media which is why it feels acutely visible.

i think being a teenager in 2024 is very difficult! maybe not any more difficult than it has been for any other generation, but 2024 has its unique challenges and teens are under immense pressure from what must feel like many different factions of adults trying to push and pull them in different directions. i can understand the pushback against that.

I think a lot of young people tend towards a sort of righteousness without really thinking it through completely and then as they think it through they figure out what they were right about and how they got things wrong.

Like for example, I was very hard-line "straightedge" kinda teen. To the point where I would refuse to talk to people who drank or anything drug related. I would force my morals on to others and frustrated with all the supposed hypocrisy I saw from others who called themselves straightedged. It sucked shit and was a bad way to live. Now, I still don't do recreational drugs, but am much more chill about others reasoning for doing them.

i remember being a teen and going on such clear like. righteousness swings extremely straightforwardly as i discovered new things. like

  • learned about atheism, decided that the root of all evil in the world is "religion" (by which i meant christianity but i was like 14 so it was all the same to me)
  • learned about feminism, reframed that basic understanding to that the root of all evil in the world is gender-based violence
  • learned about Gay Stuff, reframed that basic understanding to that the root of all evil in the world is antiqueerness (or antiqueerness sublimated through other axes like misogyny)
  • learned about colonialism, decided etc etc etc

and like all those things were kind of stepping stones. i have ideas now that i might look back on as kind of silly in a few years, but i like to think at least that i'm trying to root whatever my Angers are in a sense of care for people who are harmed by systems of oppression.

I think part of what was hard as a teen is trying to balance care with anger. it's easy to be angry and it can feel righteous/vindictive, which is useful. but at least for me it took growing up a bit more to realize that there's more than just anger that you gotta value.

(as you can tell i read the uses of anger in college and it kinda rewrote my brain)