I don't miss Clippy, per se, but I miss the era when helpful little things had faces. Alexa is a faceless void, like a Shit Janet that spies on you. "Hey, Google" is like being in the future without the dignity of saying, "Computer: Tea, Earl Grey, hot." Where's the soul of any of these things? Where's the joy?

Not only is a robot vacuum helpful in keeping my living space clean, he's also a dumb robot I can personify and his fuck ups are very low stakes.

Behold my son Sevenger Jr getting stuck in the cat food tray again!

I am now obligated to share First Mate Gusty, my air purifier

This guy just fuckin came with the house. His name is House.