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I've not gotten any good at writing descriptions since I first made my tumblr and by god I'm not about to start now.


www.in-mutual-weirdness.tumblr.com

its-chaboi
@its-chaboi

Have you ever noticed that no one who compares anything to the decline and fall of the Roman Empire ever seems to know anything about actual "late" Roman history?

"Look at how decadent we've become! It's just like the Roman Empire. Mark my words, soon the barbarians will be at the gates and we're going to

-almost completely collapse
-almost completely recover but with a more authoritarian political system
-split the country between four different Presidents who will then fight in a civil war tournament bracket to see who gets to unite it again
-move the capital to Kansas City
-adopt Scientology as our official state religion
-have some more civil wars and also fight the Mexicans every so often
-fuck up our border policy so bad that the Canadians invade and sack DC
-then everything east of the Mississippi will be governed by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for 50 years until one day the Canadians just sort of slide in and take it over
-but everything west of the Mississippi will be more or less OK all things considered and they'll just kind of let the Canadians govern the East, until one day there's a real go-getter in the Western Presidency and he conquers pretty much the whole East again for a bit
-lose like half our population in a plague
-have a gigantic three decade long war with Mexico that we narrowly win
-get almost entirely conquered out of nowhere by a militant new religious movement that suddenly comes out of the Sonoran Desert
-hang on for 700 years behind the powerful walls of New Kansas City, periodically regaining enough strength to reconquer the whole Midwest, and occasionally inviting in the Canadians to give us a hand and/or screw us over because they subscribe to a somewhat different flavor of Scientology, before finally getting put out of our misery by the successor empire to the successor empire to the successor empire to the original new religious movement that fucked us up so bad earlier

unless we ban avocado toast, reintroduce school prayer, and put WASPs in charge of everything again"


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in reply to @its-chaboi's post:

don't forget the part where politicians outside of kansas, and even out in places that were never part of america, keep referring to themselves as Presidents and Senators and Postmasters General and talking about how they are for Truth Justice and the American way for thousands of years.

(not to be a weird rome guy, but rome never fell. it just stopped being a state and became the framework in which people think about governance and political legitimacy.)