alternate title: fuck toxic collaboration culture

shout out to a friend i made last year who taught me to trust my gut when it comes to vibes, especially in meetings and decision-making processes, whether tech spaces or activisty or otherwise.

that shit does NOT have to feel hierarchical. it does NOT have to steamroll. it does NOT have to over-specialize or delegate or devalue or minimize. regardless of what they say about effectiveness.

a meeting does not have to be jargoney. it COMPLETELY can create room for people's feelings and stress and even conflict. we do not have to steep our time into decisions and explanations. we CAN be fair and respect hand-raising or stack-taking or whatever and not force the flow of conversation. even if people there really need to get something done.

as one of my favorite posts on this webbed site says about digital community spaces,:

you cannot model this shit as rugged individualism

and this applies just as much to communities offline

we can discuss the social dynamics of what just happened or why you got that weird vibe from that thing that guy said- it's not shit-talking, it's actually just talking. IMHO, this is the only way to sustainably do anything meaningful without being extractive and exploitative.

we don't have to rush to action. we don't have we can look out on the horizon for obstacles; we do not have to expect to foresee every risk. the conversation does not have to be precise for the outcome to effectively serve collaborators and the people affected by their decisions.

i've seen it at work and now i know how to say something when the vibe is off. i don't know how it scales but also i don't care, care and community within our meeting and work culture should not be deferential.