Look, I know exactly where Dracula Daily is going with this, but that doesn't help the suspense.

Pen name: Delila H. Smith (the H is silent). Thirtysomething trans lesbian, snugglemuffin, girlthing. Devil but in like a catgirl sort of way, perennial emotional wreck, too gay for this. Minors, please don't follow.
Look, I know exactly where Dracula Daily is going with this, but that doesn't help the suspense.