• she/her

Principal investigator at an undeserving midwestern university. I am ill-tempered and well-endowed. Beware.


I have a Cohost for art and writing!
cohost.org/lab-reports
profile pic by Xīn Jīn Mèng!
cohost.org/xinjinmeng

huldratigress
@huldratigress

People always have the most uncreative "what I'd do with a time machine" stories.

"Oh I'd stop 9/11" You absolute simpletons. Pea-brained knuckledraggers. If I got a time machine you wouldn't hear from me until everyone in Spain was speaking Arabic and the only notable religious organization in central Italy was a modest temple to the Hittite storm god Tarḫunna. I'm fucking EVERYTHING up. Can't have 9/11 if America doesn't exist


ValerieElysee
@ValerieElysee
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doctorwednesday
@doctorwednesday

I'd bring young Metallica back to beat the shit out of old Metallica


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in reply to @huldratigress's post:

everyone wants to use time travel to mess with someone else's era, that's no fun. I'm bringing the Sea People to the Chesapeake and the National Guard is not prepared

nine bows against Arlington set in stone the final inscriptions on Washington's obelisk, Bay Bridge traffic a ninth wonder of the ancient world made more impressive in each retelling, every tide comes back in eventually some just take three thousand years and a flux capacitor

Meanwhile, I'm going back in time to prevent Nietzsche from dying young (give him an extra thirty, maybe forty years) simply because philosophical history would become so much funnier if he had to respond to everything that happens in the early 20th century.

in reply to @doctorwednesday's post: