Misty

I like how he's covering his bases with both catholic-approved methodology and "the backing of a Protestant Pastor".

This ran for 16 episodes in 1998. The final episode ended on the cliffhanger reveal of his mysterious father.

You said deranged and I didn't realize you meant DERANGED

okay hear me out: get him on the pod

By the powers vested in me by the Holy Trinity and the state of New York, I hereby serve notice to you to vacate the body of this child and the surrounding premises!

"years of street ministry" the good lord did not ask you to preach to people while you're arresting them, sir

For thousands of years, mankind has wondered: Did Adam and Eve fuck?

Not sure what's better, the proper noun Evil Angel or leading with an unrelated quote just to say "Well I hope I don't fuck this up."

I gotta say, I am fully exhausted after those three paragraphs

i think everyone agrees these days that the fruit was knowledge grapes

hey michael, long time reader first time caller. I have a quick question - more of a comment, really - what the fuck

Starting off with a nothing quote by Oscar Wilde is giving me flashbacks to Uncyclopedia.

WELL IT'S A LITTLE LATE TO PUT THAT FRUIT BACK IN THE TREE ISN'T IT

this is the plot of snow crash

this reminds me of Nice Pete's bible fanfiction

"'eating from the tree of knowledge' actually meant Adam and Eve had nonprocreative sex" is a head scratcher,

Cain and Abel were born after the Fall. Meaning either Adam and Eve simply did not have sex in paradise ever, or the children born in the garden are somehow irrelevant

"For thousands of years" is famously a great lead-in right after assuring the reader their time won't be wasted.