professional hobbyist, visual novelist (Potion Stand Story, Iron Company), low-rent vtuber, human trainwreck. oregon, USA. let your eyeballs drift gently over to my pinned post for more information and tags and things. long live cohost โค๏ธโ€:eggbug:


โœจ personal website
doodlemancy.com/
๐Ÿ›๏ธ etsy
etsy.com/shop/doodlemancy
๐ŸŸฆ bluesky (most active)
bsky.app/profile/doodlemancy.com
๐Ÿ’Œ my mailing list
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๐Ÿฟ anime list (anilist)
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๐Ÿก toyhouse
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๐Ÿ“บ twitch
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๐Ÿ’ญ dreamwidth (RSS-able!)
doodlemancy.dreamwidth.org/
๐ŸŽฎ itch.io
doodlemancy.itch.io/
๐Ÿ”— EVEN MORE PLACES I AM
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๐Ÿ›๏ธ pillowfort
www.pillowfort.social/doodlemancy
๐Ÿ˜ mastodon
kind.social/@doodlemancy

for real though i am. Very Very Very angry, like i'm trying to celebrate today but i do need to get the Rage out of my system too.


man. man. man. tendonitis is so common, so treatable, so diagnose-able i had basically already diagnosed it myself. what i have been describing this entire time is the absolute most classic tendonitis shit, but doctors were like "fibromyalgia! depression! making it up for drugs!" i probably could have recovered in 2014 if i'd seen the right doctor and been sent to PT with any direction (i did get sent to PT, but they didn't know what to do with me because i HAD NO DIAGNOSIS). but instead i was put on a gaslighting roller coaster, sent home repeatedly without solutions, tortured to the point of having to try antidepressants because i was in such a dark place mentally, had to spend another year recovering from the extreme trauma caused by What Happens When Antidepressants Are Extremely Wrong For You Specifically, went to a pain management class where i learned almost nothing, gave up for a while, limped through 9 years of my post-college adult life unable to work enough to make ends meet, spun out in late December and finally finally finally got a real diagnosis TODAY, more than ten years after my first visit to the doctor about The World's Most Obviously Real Tendonitis Symptoms.

i have a very firm suspicion that if i were a cis man of a societally acceptable weight it never would have taken all of this. there's no way i can prove it and really no avenue for justice. what i deserve for what i've been put through is, i dunno, at least a cool million dollars and several very very long written apologies, but i don't have the money or energy for a lawsuit so like. it's just going in the pile of Heinous Wrongs that have been done to me that will never be answered for, i guess. story of my fuckin' life.

but i still win.

i am
-very angry and very sad
-a huge fucking badass
-smarter than most doctors, apparently, and i don't love that for me or society
-The Fucking Strong
-full of pizza that had 3 kinds of pepperoni on it


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in reply to @doodlemancy's post:

I have...thoughts about this shit that are far less important than the fact that you got something you deserved! Fuck them, you've won a battle here! You worked hard and went through so much horrible extraneous bullshit, but something good actually happened this time! I hope the pizza hit right, and that this momentum carries forward so you can keep getting what you need, what you're owed. (what kinds of pepperoni were involved here?)

Congrats on finally getting the diagnosis! I hate the American health system (especially for women) with the same burning rage, and I hope this is the thing that helps you finally get to a better place going forward!