[tax return hits my bank account]
shoulder devil: buy the Bravern action figure do it do it do it do it
me: no... i shan't... i mustn't... i had plans for this money... responsible plans...
shoulder devil: being responsible and joyless will not save you from a rigged economy. purchase the 1:12 scale gay robot
me: foul temptress!!! shoulder angel, we must banish her!!!!!
shoulder angel: (loudly crunching on Corn Nutsโขยฎ, scrolling tumblr on her phone)
shoulder angel: idk. it's been a while since you bought a figurine
me: i'm starting to think you lied on your resume about being an angel

