Daisy

Ugh, that's such a gross, pointing comment... It really is just saying "one of the good ones". Some folks can't think of a compliment that doesn't come with an attached insult.

It's so strange and funny to see where these lines exist for people! Like, people who overcome outright transphobia, but can't get past "I wish so many trans people weren't weird" or "I'm fine with them as long as they fit in". And even when we can fit in perfectly, there's often a condescending attitude of "oh, good for you!" Even if you can pass, that feeling of constant judgement is enough to make you wanna throw up a middle finger and wear fishnets and black lipstick...

I can't help but wonder why some people want to live in a world where everyone else is so similar, unchallenging, boring. Isn't the world a more interesting place when people are different?

Absolutely, totally with you, especially on dressing defensively, rather than boldly. My most adventurous look involves a cropped hoodie to go pick up food to go.

I live in dread of standing out and being confronted, but the next last thing I want is to be told I’m being a good little trans for being tame.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Tbh, I’m still early on in my transition. I don’t present fem in public cuz I know I can’t pass yet. I’m still working on my voice. I’m buying dresses, sure, but… Well, yeah, cuz they do make me feel kinda sexy. <.<

But I don’t want present sexy, you know? Like you said, we just wanna wear what makes us happy. Idk if many cis people think about that, how wearing the right clothing can feel so damn good. Cis women maybe, but cis men? Heck to the no.

Idk where this is going so I’m gonna wrap this up. Suffice to say that yes, feeling like we’re gonna be targets if we try dress self-lovingly or self-indulgently is a heck of a mood.

I constantly live with the fear that I've seen as "one of the good ones", it's the grossest feeling in the world.

Yes!!!

i wore glittery fishnets to a party last week. it was one of the best feelings of my entire life. i actually liked my body, i felt sexy, it was euphoria. i normally dont have the confidence to wear shit i like but when i do its awesome. Like you and someone in the comments said its about trying to feel good. thats way more important than whatever guy #2 feels is too out there.

its honestly a sad reflection of how they interact the world. they dont have a slutty dress they love putting on? damn no euphoria for them i guess... maybe they've spent too much time living for others instead of themselves

I was going to write something quirky, but sadly this shit is everywhere..

I really really try not to stand out at work so I dress like a damn Mormon. That combined with my general lack of shyness has seen me flagged as:

• "the good one"
• "the one you can bring to meetings"
• "If you need something from [other_trans_employees] ask Violet"
• And my personal favorite "Could present the proposals directly, if she works on her voice"

I get this from friends and family too, but its worst at work. Because you know, it's unprofessional to clap back at the executives (._. )