Usually I'm not one to do a whole long blog, ever. Especially one that retains to a problem that loves to peek it's unsightly eyes at me.
Loneliness. But more-so, a lack of belonging. As if everyone else has at least something figured out. Their own clique, friend group, even just some peeps to vibe and talk with. I know that's not true. People are all struggling under capitalism and trauma to keep connections.
But also, I do see people off handily mention such activities.
I don't think I've ever really had such a clique. Granted I do hang around groups and vibe and enjoy it. I even got one where we talk Halo stuff, thankfully (the main thing keeping me somewhat grounded). But it feels more like I'm part of a crowd. Just kinda there, on the outer edge.
This has plaques me all my life. So that tells me it's maybe the way I move through life. I don't give out enough for people to form some type of bond perhaps. Maybe I'm too distant, or foreboding or some third thing that means people leave me out of things.
I'd imagine I'm just barely holding this brainpan together at most times. Who isn't? Things move too fast, trauma closes us off and people can't handle but too doomscroll because our brains hook onto bad news (and how many social media platforms are made).
Right the point...who knows. At most in moments like these I remember exactly why I write what I do. Perhaps I'll finally get to share it sometime.
Have a good day.
Drink Water,
April.
