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in reply to @woob's post:

Poly is hard. It's fine while it's a new relationship but managing time between other people is tough. And all living together pretty much ends once someone has a kid. Society has done a pretty good job of making monogamy the default but it's done an exceptional job of making parenthood a 2 person show only.

I know of zero poly relationships of anyone in their 40s and most crumble after a few years.

While your young it can work, but the world simply isn't built around it.

I think I should chime in that I am 40, I have three partners (one long distance) and they all have partners too, and it's wonderful. It's not easy and it requires adapting to things as they happen, but it seems way easier than my wife and I trying to be monogamous would be.

It is true that my metamours who have kids have a lot of difficulty with it.

Good to hear.

Personally I just find it easier having a partner and lovers (be that one-offs or friends with benefits) than multiple romantic partners. My free time is pretty short and I can't imagine navigating friends and family is easy when it comes to poly. And yeah, kids. It's a lot to handle.

I think a lot of people go into it thinking it's a smooth ride but it isn't. And it doesn't help that society tends to frown on it.

Sadly my own experience has often involved "reluctant males" as in men who would obviously be happier if it wasn't poly.

Jealousy isn't really something you can overcome in those situations if you're struck with it.