Edda

When the aliens arrived, finding our planet long since abandoned, they faced little resistance. Their preliminary research into our society had suggested that it was customary for extrasolar visitors to greet humanity with a display of great violence, and not wanting to disappoint us, they had prepared a full-scale invasion fleet. Painstakingly, though it had taken centuries, they engineered impractical, silent, disk-shaped vessels like those they had seen in our transmissions, for surely we would accept nothing less. It all seemed a bit much, but who were they to sniff at the social practices of a people who had evolved in circumstances so foreign to their own. Best to match our energy, they thought. But upon arrival, there were no cows to abduct, no fields of crops in which to to trace circles. And so they did the next best thing: they parked their warships in our empty streets, took up residence in our vacant houses, and endeavored to pick up where we had left off and live as they imagined the humans might have. It would be some years before the patterns began to make sense. "The knife juice." one colonist might say. "The knife juice is an essential ingredient in the construction of vittles; of this we have overwhelming evidence. But must the juice come from the knife itself? The synthesis of the milkable knife-thing may be trivial to us owing to the advent of our ubiquitous blade-producing aperture technologies, but I have seen no such apparati left behind by our hosts. Is it possible that the knife-juice is simply named as such due to the knife-thing as a method of conveyance, the juice then being product of the animal organ, i.e. blood/urine, extracted for culinary purposes via the aforementioned utensil." To which another alien might reply, "Preposterous. The knife, I believe, is a bone, and the juice its marrow." Many such an argument was had over dinner, as dinner was, apparently, mostly for arguing. They also found mitt romney's cryogenically-frozen brain and brought him back as a despicable me minion or something. Idk i got tired of writing the post. Life is a rare precious thing and sometimes you gotta suck it up and be a living memorial i guess. Didn't sleep much last night. Post over

The knife juice is an essential ingredient in the construction of vittles