despite how loud and angry i come off, i am willing to discuss the nuances of transmisogyny theory with those willing to listen.
if you're not going to yell at me and call me hysterical, i'd love to discuss transmisogyny theory with you and the utility of imperfect terms like TMA/TME and how "transmisandry" is not a coherent theoretical concept. i like talking about this, it's less soul-crushing to be able to say it on an even field in a conversation where we can engage with the theory of it.
if you've been looking at my posts and thinking i'm being iffy or i'm saying that trans men aren't oppressed (they are, just not for being men), i'm very much here to talk to and hear out. i promise, i don't bite.
i've had multiple friends approach me to talk about this and we've been able to talk things out amicably, and i'm glad for that.
gonna go put my discord in my private contact info on here so if you're moots you can seek me out there for this.
first to start to be explicit so i don't get yelled at by someone taking this out of context: none of what i am saying is saying transmascs don't face oppression at all
what i mean when i say that transmisandry as a theory isn't coherent is that it isn't cohesive; it doesn't actually stick together under any scrutiny as anything other than a hastily-constructed mirroring of something that doesn't reflect in that way.
all theories of transmisandry or even its rebrand in "transandrophobia" i've seen posed require the implication that a cismisandry exists. these theories of oppression are built on the foundation that a societal oppression of men exists for there to be an intersectionality with, which is simply false. men are not oppressed by patriarchy. they may suffer from the rigidity of its enforced roles, but we would not say Elon Musk becoming terminally divorced and out of touch because of his wealth would be him being oppressed by capitalism, and in the same lens we cannot say the same is true of men under patriarchy.
the modes transmasculine oppression takes on are the modes of standard misogyny; the infantilization, the dismissal, the treatment of sincerely-held identity as simply being a lost child led astray. in that last example we can see the clear difference here: the forces of transphobia see the transmasculine as lost children to be saved, and the transfeminine as temptresses to be destroyed.
even in clear works of fearmongering specifically about transmasculinity such as Irreversible Damage, often the underlying implied idea is that the "transgender craze seducing our daughters" proposed by Abigail Shrier and her compatriots is that trans women and the other targets of transmisogyny like drag queens are predators converting innocent girls. there's also an undercurrent of antisemitism saying that transness is a jewish plot to reduce white birthrates or something, but that's a whole tangent on its own.
none of this is oppression for maleness, it is dismissal because of a perceived "vulnerable feminine". and this perceived vulnerability is exactly where the "TME" privilege of not being the target of transmisogyny lies, because when the transfeminine is already seen by society as inherently predatory and abusive, the framing comes naturally to portray us as the aggressors and the abusers in any conflict we're involved in.
a trans woman snaps back after being dogpiled for talking about transmisogyny? oh no, she's being Aggressive and Abusive, she's the Evil Transfem Corrupting Our Noble Cohost and needs to be banned to Preserve The Community.
it's easy to see how this rhetoric is wielded against us, how people fleeing a website's blatantly transmisogynistic moderation are portrayed as Invading Our Women's Spaces and bringing their Aggression and Anger when they talk about their own oppression.
and this is the rhetorical space deploying transmisandry as a concept fills: i've almost never seen it brought up about the societal oppression transmascs face from transphobia and misogyny preventing their transition and recognition. i have almost exclusively seen it deployed as a way to frame trans women talking about being pedojacketed and dogpiled by transmascs for having a sexuality as the real oppressors of the poor innocent transmascs being hurt by these angry feminazis men baeddels.
that is why i don't consider transmisandry a coherent theory, it is only ever deployed as a whataboutism to ignore and delegitimize transmisogyny
