I've posted these on a couple of sites and thought about putting down my thoughts about creating art lately and didn't but this seems like a small place to vent about it. These were the last merch idea 'drafts' I was working on before I sort of hit a wall artistically last year. More words under the cut.
I haven't run very many of my own artist alley tables, but just the few experiences I have had have been difficult for me. I have no idea how some people do a whole circuit of events, but they have all my respect. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I still wasn't prepared for it.
Lately, I've been really thinking about whether I am cut out for it. Last year, I only did two events and I still felt like I was lacking art or lacking something to 'show off'. It felt like my output was not up to par and in the months between, I felt like wasn't creating 'new cool things' fast enough- I think that mindset really sunk me. I've been sort of working though these thoughts these last couple of months and I think these feelings about my art have been really holding me back for a while now.
There is still a big part of me that really wants to table at events and liked having that fire lit underneath me creatively. But I am trying to figure out how to feel that fire but also not get burnt out. And maybe a lot of what is burning me out is possibly just in my head. I've also been thinking about how I can go about it differently. I do also want to explore just going to events and not selling but that's a whole other thing. Anyway, just needed to vent.
Luckily, the fgc has been incredibly kind to me both online and in person and really turned the stressful leadup to both events last year into very positive overall experiences for me. I've learned a lot from selling my art and received some invaluable feedback and that makes all the efforts worth it. I think I just still have a lot of learning and growing to do when it comes to my art. I think I just need to get my confidence back or maybe I need to summon a part of me that doesn't care about what my art looks like and is just content making anything. I'll know I can figure it out.