You haven't suffered enough!
I made a userscript that had its main code + idea shamelessly stolen from chaoticvibing on twitter that adds Cohost Verified™ to the site!
Rather than joining the team and folding it into the current Cohost Pro™©, I opted to make it randomize - every install should have an entirely unique list of users who are verified and not verified (roughly 10% of users). The mods are an exception and are always verified.
Does it work? Works on my machine! Is it efficient? I don't know, I have 64gb of RAM and 16 CPU threads, it's not my job to find out! Does it have bugs! Oh you bet it does!
Enjoy your checkmark, whether you like it or not! :)