REJECT THE UPGRADE TREADMILL

TOPPLE THE CULT OF THE NEW

TURN TRASH INTO TREASURE

BECOME LOTEK

My laptop is ten years old and it works great. I replaced the 5400 rpm hard drive with a cheap secondhand SSD. Someone tried to do the old drill-thru-the-middle trick for making hard drives unrecoverable, but all they got was casing.
I maxed out the ram with old parts from dead machines. Fast, high capacity ram that would have simply gone in a landfill because it's not DDR Whatever
I replaced the screen with a generic 1080p panel off eBay. A little snug, but perfectly secure with a bit of black duct tape to assist the old screws and clips.
And of course, windows would never tolerate this, but it doesn't take anything special -- Debian does everything I need.

You don't need the new shit.
Let's eat garbage together.