One thing that’s started happening in the past couple of months is what I’m calling an undepressive episode and there has to be a better word for this.
Basically it starts like a depressive episode in that it comes out of nowhere and kind of washes over me, but it’s not depression. It’s the opposite. Not mania either; I’ve been manic before, and this doesn’t have the random energy or feelings I’ve being powerful that came with mania. It’s an endorphin rush, but a calming one. It’s powerful emotions, but they’re all positive. Sometimes I’ll tear up, but it’s from feeling happy. Half the time I just feel small and safe and warm and comfortable enough to nap.
Is this from HRT? Is this just a side effect of being in a healthy relationship finally? Is it something else?
I don’t know what it is, but it feels like healing.
