Wow! Baby’s first post-gaming-journalism-industry-layoff GOTY list! What a thrill! (I was gonna do a dumb “baby’s ___th GOTY list at Giant Bomb!” every year I was there as a running gag but I only got to run that gag twice! So much for that!)
SHAME of the year:
Firstly, well, the industry being completely unstable for work, along with MANY other real-world scary things! But you're not here for that, you got the rest of the internet available to stress you out.
You’re actually here to wonder why the hell I care about Silent Hill anymore because here’s the Shame of the Year:
Silent Hill: Ascension! The last thing in the world that any Silent Hill fan wanted! And that, for many, includes having no games at all! What IS this?
Well, it’s a… huh. So, what if a Telltale game and a Supermassive Game had simply the shittiest offspring possible.
Just the worst of both worlds. Then add Silent Hill, which is the worst of many worlds because nobody can decide what it is they even like about that thing. Is it the cult? Is it the psychological amnesia bullshit? WHAT IF: it was the worst of both of that, too?
Then you monetize the hell out of it! You add fake currency (Influence Points) that you can buy with Real Money, which you can use to basically be a lobbyist for certain Choose Your Own Adventure permutations in this “”””game”””. Look, I’m not one of those jackasses who just throws “it’s not a game” at anything I don’t like. Or at least I try not to be! But holy shit, this is NOT a game!
You can also be enough of a whale that your own “character” that you’ve created can appear as a cameo in the game. Which is why so many NPCs have glasses and the world’s weirdest hair and skin combination possible.
You may know that I made a bold-sounding claim (bolder-sounding than I intended?) on twitter. For which I apologize for phrasing so boldly, but you must understand: I was on drugs at the time, because I’m cool, so gimme a break.
That being said, the reason this tweet became gaming news is mostly because the CEO responded to it, like an extremely silly bastard would. You sweet, naive, goofy little Chief Executive Officer. What are you doing, my good bitch? Why would you acknowledge me and bring MORE attention to the accusation of this being A.I. generated? My man, you done goofed!
Do I think this is A.I. generated? Not FULLY, no. Do I suspect that a LOT of this is heavily A.I. assisted and has a poorly paid human doing some sort of clean up under a very cruel time limit? That makes sense to me! Because the idea that human beings wrote this boring soap opera trash is an insult to human creativity. I am genuinely SO sorry to any humans that made this. This sucks and you know it sucks. There’s no way in any hell that this - Silent Hill: Ascension - is anybody’s dream project, or plot they’ve always wanted to write for a game. Most fanfics are far and away better than this (or, at the very least, not as dull). But those aren’t at the whims of deadlines, of CEOs, of bosses telling you to streeeetch this narrative to its incredibly boring breaking point.
Nobody wants this, not even the writers. If indeed, writers are present and real. They’re in the credits, at least! S….Suspiciously VERY very… very far down in the credits…
It’s a shame to do this to the Silent Hill franchise of course, but it’s a general shame to make something this uninteresting, low-quality, and bizarre (not in the cool spooky way). It’s a shame that the BEST case scenario for Ascension being made this poorly is that humans were under extreme duress to make it. It’s a shame that is reflective of the state of games and how creatively unrewarding it is to work in them, under such circumstances. Fuck this thing.
By the way, I’m calling it here that Konami will cancel Silent Hill F, and potentially Townfall, too. Just because I’ve been hurt so long that I’d be a real dummy to expect anything but the worst from them. Bloober Team’s SH2 remake will come out though, because I’m god’s favorite joke.
Thing I need to get more into:
Magic: The Gathering
With what time though!? It’s hard!! I like it but sheesh, there’s a lot of words on these cards! And ya gotta read 'em because they all change how the game works! Jeeze!
Biggest Disappointments:
Amnesia: The Bunker! It wasn’t my thing! I dunno, I just ran up against its most tedious and frustrating parts and I think when it comes down to it, I want a more purposeful horror experience. The Bunker has procedurally generated elements, which doesn’t work for the vibe and genre of Amnesia, in my opinion. Procedural generation seems to work best for multiplayer online stuff that combines humor and horror (see: Lethal Company), and the Amnesia franchise usually tries to keep its distance from humor… so like, what do you have left that could possibly be aided by a procedural system? I really don’t know! It didn’t click for me and that’s a big bummer, since their last game (Amnesia: Rebirth) was a real darling for me - one which didn’t review super great and I’m not sure why but I don’t feel like looking it up right now!
Milder Disappointment: My Friendly Neighborhood
They may have patched this to be a little less tedious? I oughta re-check this out. But this was a silly/funny horror game that knows it’s silly, and I just generally appreciate when games have a good personality like that. But the enemies respawning at an alarming rate, combined with limited ammo for your weapons… not a great combo, but it was made untenable by the addition of kind of a LOT of back n forth stuff for some puzzles, so whenever you went back to a room you needed to fetch something from, all the dudes you killed were back at it. (Unless you taped them down, but there wasn’t nearly enough tape to make this an actionable plan.) The unbalancedness of that made it kinda lose me! But again, they may have patched this to be more reasonable.
Best games I haven’t played yet and I’m ANNOYED at myself for it:
Slay the Princess
I was really engrossed by the demo of this!! But Alan Wake 2 and Talos 2 came out so close to this and goddamnit, I haven’t played it yet. I’ve been jonesin! Can’t wait to get my hands on this one. The narrator sounds hot.
Balder’s Gate 3
I’m playing too much DnD right now to play more DnD :( Please watch my podcast Skulltenders, though. I’m really, really proud of it! I play a neurotic slime-person and I also edit all the sound effects and music in, radio-play style! Also, it’s funny, we’re funny. I think you’ll vibe with it even if you’re not a DnD head.
I appreciate you but you don’t rank in the top ten:
The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog
Y’know what, it was actually a good little murder mystery and was legitimately quite funny. Another game with a good personality. :)
Iron Lung
This was a real cool, short n' spooky lil game that didn’t come out this year, but had a resurgence of interest due to some dumbfuck rich people dying in a similar scenario that was completely avoidable! The game is great, has some excellent subtle scares in it and one big one that is completely earned. The tension and sound design in this baby are top notch. Indie horrors rule.
Amanda the Adventurer
Another indie horror that surprised me! I didn’t know it would end up being an escape room game! With a good sense of humor about how silly its premise is, too! A nice surprise all around, lots of great morbid jokes in there, and pretty neat puzzles! I will critique that there’s a fair bit of tedium to get all the endings, on account of having to re-input a bunch of codes for puzzles and such - but it wasn’t tedious enough to overwrite the fun I had with this.
Interior Worlds
I’m not somebody who’s big into liminal spaces as a horror trend, but I am a big fan of liminal spaces. It’s just a neat aesthetic. I love a space with weird, empty vibes (See Talos Principle 2 for more of that) and Interior Worlds is just a liminal space walking simulator where you take pictures and it’s just a cool time :) No jumpscares that I recall, really. Just a chill spooky atmosphere in different classic 90s-ass environments and a pretty nice camera gimmick. Feels like urbexing in the past and it was lovely!
OKAY it’s time for DA GOTY LIST
10: Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath: Vengance of the Slayer
Zane rules! I love the whole kayfabe of the Hypnospace Outlaw universe and its alternate-history internet culture. Slayers X is a pretty great boomer shooter that ends up painting a rather charming picture of our boy Zane and what kinda guy he grew up to be after the events of Hypnospace Outlaw. Kind of a loser, but a harmless one - a dude who grew up in a tough situation, which directly influenced his early-oughts juggalo-ish brand of imagination and escapism. A guy who peaked in 8th grade, if he ever did have a peak. But, y’know, still a creative guy who loves his family, he just has very lowbrow taste. Really humanizes Zane while you’re blasting swarms of Psykos and terds, and that’s impressive to me.
9: Tears of the Kingdom (which I didn’t finish all the way)
I played a lot of this and stopped RIGHT before Ganon!! What’s wrong with me!? Why do I do this!? I could just walk up and kick Ganon in the dick and be done with it, Hyrule saved. And yet!
A weird thing with TotK is that I bounced completely off this thing initially. Hated it. I was never a LEGO kid, I’m not really geared towards building things in games, so I was incredibly frustrated by this game being BotW but with a gimmick I thought I hated. It took me watching my spouse playing it for it to click and reapproach it from a less close-minded angle and I’m glad I did! Cool ass game! I think the final boss thing in the underground may have sucked away my interest to finish it though, it wasn’t very fun, that situation! The lead-up to it was way better!
8: Parasite Eve
Yep, I'm putting old games on the list too. I had always been fascinated by the trailer for this game on the PS1 demo disc I played a lot, but never tried it myself! Part of this year’s JRPG education series, brought to you by my spouse, @Chipcheezum, who’s been curating these and modding them a bit to lessen the tedious parts <3 What a guy! And yeah, turns out Parasite Eve is WILD as fuck and I liked it a lot :)
7: Lethal Company
Okay I played this only once and was cranky at the start, so it’s pretty impressive that it won me over this hard from that bad-brain starting point. Recency bias? Perhaps! But the clips of this game alone are worth noting on a GOTY list, unless you’re old and suck. Super funny procedural horror goofs! Love em.
6: Final Fantasy 9 (not done yet)
I’m not done playing this yet! But I love it! It’s hard to decide if I like 9 or 7 more, but they’re both insanely impressive games that have exponentially more STUFF in them than I thought was possible. I like the black mages a lot :)
I named my new cat Vivi, look at him, I love him.
5: Final Fantasy 7
It is SO exciting to be invested in the trailers for Rebirth, now!!! Aaaa! Hype! It’s been so long since I felt hyped for a game in such a meaty way… about something that’s definitely gonna be good, so it’s not a gamble to get invested! A huge relief to give a shit about this. But yeah turns out Final Fantasy 7 is extremely fucking good and I’m so happy to be proven to be a huge fuckin idiot.
4: Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
Loved the first one, though it had a lot of things I wish it had done… then the second one comes out and does all those things and a bunch more stuff! Hell yeah! Art!
I coulda done loads more commissions from these little puppet people, but it was a respectable length! Very cute, very funny, great and varied assignments from little guys with different preferences to figure out. I also got very drunk and started gushing about how much I like my DnD character, here they are
(Going with a race based on "that looks fun to draw" is paying dividends, by the way! Been getting a lot of sick fanart of Visk! Hell yeah!)
3: Pikmin 4 (didn’t finish all the way)
I didn’t finish this one all the way either! I mean, I saw credits of course, but there’s a substantial amount of post-game Dandori-ing to do that I got distracted from… and now I’m certain my Dandori skills have decayed far too much to pick it back up, oops! But I extremely love the Pikmin games, and Pikmin 4 was a damn fine sequel! Some of the new controls were actually pretty damn handy once you get used to ‘em, and the new Piks (and changes to how some of the old Piks worked) were wonderful. However, I desperately want Nintendo games to have an option to skip tutorial stuff if you’re familiar with the game series, though! The tutorial on this thing was ridiculously long!
2: Alan Wake (not finished yet but I'm gonna!)
These top two games are both dangerously close to replacing each other’s spots on the list. Maybe Alan Wake will overtake the Number 1 spot when I get back to it and finish it up, though, dunno!
But I love all the games I’ve played from Remedy, and I especially love the cheeky interconnected universe they’ve been weaving for ages now. The Alan Wake DLC in Control was DOPE. Control itself ruled! Alan Wake 1…. I didn’t get that it was taking the piss so I didn’t like it initially, lol. At the time, it was even rarer for games to make fun of themselves! But when I wised up, I was on board with it.
My big crit of AW2 is that the combat remains rather clunky (unfortunately this comes with the survival horror territory, still... something devs have a problem balancing because being too good at combat takes away tension and leads a game very easily into action-horror). And I’m not a fan of some of these fast shadow guys, but other than that, I’m super enjoying this thing. Remedy’s doing some really impressive visual mashups with FMVs and cutscenes and gameplay, it’s a total treat. Love Saga, love Casey, love Alan, love all these hunky Finns perkele-ing all over the place. This is Finnish propaganda, I love this shit. Another game on the list with “has a good sense of humor about itself” all over it. I dunno how they manage to make this thing goofy while still keeping it compelling, and grounded enough to be invested while it’s doing absurd and confusing supernatural plotlines. That rules, hell yeah.
1: The Talos Principle 2
BUT I was distracted away from Alan Wake 2 by The Talos Principle 2 and that’s the main reason it snuck up to 1st place. Loved the first game! Road to Gehenna was crazy difficult and I didn’t get through it, though :( This one however, seems like it’s really got it figured out! A tough but fair difficulty level, while keeping some real tricky ones locked away for completionists (me) to bang their heads against. And they added loads of mechanics that I never thought I’d see in a Talos game – including just talking with loads of NPCs; other robots with distinct personalities, ooh! And it’s still got the fun and sometimes funny philosophical quandaries all over the thing. I appreciate how the philosophy and puzzles pair up thematically! There’s been ethical choices in this game (that are probably not super gameplay-important) that have given me as much of a biiiiig pause as going “how the fuck do I get this laser in the fucking receiver????”
When it comes down to it, I was more relaxed playing this game than Alan Wake 2, and I needed more of an unwind game than a wind-up game at the time. The environments and architectural spaces in this game are fucking breathtaking. Absolutely stunning, vast structures that are works of art. The whole world is technically a liminal space in Talos 2, because there’s no flesh-and-blood humans left to occupy these places. Soaring, yet somewhat pointless structures are everywhere - just existing to be pretty, and maybe house a puzzle that has usually nothing much to do with the structure it’s in. It evokes a sense of sadness that’s really beautiful to me. Another theme going on in Talos 2 is about beauty, too! Do humans make the world beautiful or do we ruin it? Does beauty need an observer to be “beautiful”? Is beauty a purely human invention and nothing is objectively beautiful? How can one quantify it? That’s some fun stuff to mull over while you’re trying to figure out how the fuck do i get this laser in the fucking receiver???
Just a great game that makes you feel like a smartie and that’s what I needed. The nice brain chemicals of progress and the feeling of triumph that comes from sorting something out. Aww yeah
And I wanna leave off with some games that I’m anticipating! I don’t know if these come out next year, though, but I’m just excited for them! I did some streams of EEK3 and DreadXP’s indie horror showcase, and I highly recommend checking those out. Loads of demos and trailers for some really fun looking stuff!
Anticipated Gamez
Sorry, We’re Closed
“What if Silent Hill was neon and gay as fuck” is not something I would have thought would be pulled off successfully but dangit, I really like where this thing is going. They’ve got this unique otherworld-flipping mechanic that’s more interesting (and convenient) than any other Silent Hill game has done so far! Very technically impressive! This thing just oozes cool, and I definitely recommend checking out the demo, which I streamed, and was longer than I thought it’d be! The devs (Ala Mode Games) also seem like huge sweeties, which is always a plus. There’s literally only two people making this thing and that’s wild as hell!
Sauna 2000
This is being made by the organizer of EEK3, Amos Sorri! Who is perhaps the busiest dude in gaming because of that. But this is more Finnish propaganda! It’s about readying a sauna and then a demon shows up. If you don’t like that premise: man, that sucks. The demo is cool as fuck, it’s also being made by (I think) only two people, and the dev is a pal of mine so why wouldn’t I plug his shit. >:)
But yeah! Dat's da GOTY list! For a year with big changes for me! Lost a job, had my spouse lose a job, became a sound designer on a DnD podcast that actually rules bigtime, had a 5 month old kitten show up and beg to be my child, and got diagnosed with the 'Tism (not a shocker, in retrospect, considering all the social goofs, intense fixations, overachieving leading to massive burnouts, etc, etc.) The cat and the autism happened in the same week, too! So that was weird!
Thanks for reading, gamerz. I love you, please stay healthy and safe <3
