ewie

good night

gay plural trans lesbian disaster. i've done some cursed programming stuff but i'm hoping that if i can just get better and hotter then maybe i can make something even worse


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in reply to @ewie's post:

i've known of some systems who have bounced hard off it and find the core assumptions at odds with their sense of their own plurality. i've met others who find it really helpful. i personally really like it and i wish i could find a therapist who takes my insurance who works within it. in the meantime i have a copy of Self-Therapy by jay earley... and as long as i'm not in official therapy, it's something that i want to make time for (except there's a resistant part that's been stopping me... oops 🥴)

i’m curious about the former group? what about it would be at odds with their plurality? and i’m currently just reading an introduction to ifs book since i’ve heard of it but haven’t necessarily heard about it. all i thought about it in advance was that it was something that was helpful for systems even if it for singlets, and now i’m learning that it’s actually pretty plural so that should give you a sense of how little i knew lol. i’m (reasonably confident that i’m) polyfrag and i’m mostly struggling with the fact that i feel like there’s a barrier between me up front and everything else going on :/ idk i hope that makes sense

i wish i could give you more deets on the former group but tbh i'm not in touch with them anymore, hah. iirc they were reading one of dick schwartz's intro books and taking issues with the idea of there being a Self at all... they seemed to interpret it as a very singlet-oriented approach to plurality? that said, for all i know they were primed to go in with a bad-faith reading. doing it for the dunks rather than genuine interest.

anyway, what you've said totally makes sense and i definitely encourage you to keep learning about it and deciding whether it vibes with you or not! it sounds like so far it might. imo it's a really compassionate approach that makes room for people as they are, and provides lots of tools for figuring out why barriers (between parts, or between parts and the world) exist and how to negotiate with them. the premise of "no bad parts" really resonates with me.

as you might be able to tell, i really like to talk about this, so if you do get into IFS and want someone to uhh chat more about this with: hello, haha