ewie

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gay plural trans lesbian disaster. i've done some cursed programming stuff but i'm hoping that if i can just get better and hotter then maybe i can make something even worse


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NastyaRomanov
@NastyaRomanov

As it is known, I have previously correctly predicted the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center, the war in Iraq, the opening of the 16th dimensional vector, the 2008 financial crisis, Gamergate, and the COVID-19 Pandemic.

My kittens, I am deeply grateful for your patience and understanding in waiting for my 2024 predictions. It takes time and effort to observe all 367 days of the year from all thirteen continents, and then to sort through what I’ve seen and decide what is important enough to share in the limited time I have on this earth before my ascension.

Without further ado, here are my predictions for the year 2024

January 2024

  • The International Court of Justice will determine that it is plausible that Israel is violating the Genocide Convention, but will not call for a ceasefire. In response, several major countries will defund the UNRWA.
  • Circus animals will be rescued after a truck catches on fire on an Indiana highway
  • Iran will execute four people convicted of planting a bomb in a cemetery
  • Amazon will abandon a plan to purchase Roomba
  • Two climate activists will be arrested for throwing soup at the Mona Lisa
  • Princess Kate will have abdominal surgery
  • The Lemurian Minister for Souls will be caught cheating on her heartmate.

As you can see, my predictions have already shown to be incredibly accurate. Only Princess Nadya Romanov has had such accuracy in predicting the future. So you can reliably trust what I will predict happens next.

February 2024

  • A splinter in the holographic layer of reality will reverse the magnetic poles in the fifth dimension. This will awaken a sense of awareness in humanity.
  • The despicable Vladimir Putin will continue his antiquated war effort in the Ukraine, raising the negative frequencies of Eurasia and increasing rates of inflammation across the region, in addition to the war casualties.
  • Tensions between Mu and Lemuria will continue to rise as disagreements over the jurisdiction of Atlantis escalate.
  • A cure for eczema will be discovered and subsequently buried by Big Pharma.

March 2024

  • A major political upset will be termed the “TikTok Revolution”
  • “Oh-Knee Moh-mee” (a spoonerism of “one moment”) will be the new big meme. By December, moments will frequently be referred to as “momies” among Gen Z and Gen Alpha. As in “Just a momey!”
  • Donald J. Trump will be the front runner in the US Republican Primary
  • Libya will experience an economic boom, akin to the “Japanese Miracle”
  • Mu will impose trade tariffs on Lemuria.
  • The King Penguin will achieve sentience.

April 2024

  • Global temperatures in the northern hemisphere will continue to rise
  • There will be a solar eclipse. Remember to sungaze today to charge your personal visions.
  • COVID-19 transmission rates will reach a new, but temporary, low-point
  • Humanity will share a collective dream evoking the seven lost archetypes
  • Venusians will resume their seasonal visits to Lesotho to collect vibrational dataforms. This will be the last year that Lesotho’s sixth dimensional eclipse will open the gateway that allows for Venusian visitations. Next year, they may move to another region of Gaia.
  • Xi Jinping will make a thinly veiled threat against Taiwanese autonomy in a speech celebrating the opening of a new solar electric plant in Guandong.

May 2024

  • Taylor Swift will announce she is converting to Islam.
  • The Simulation will update humanity to a new holobiotic operating system
  • Chuck Norris will die in a tragic diving accident.
  • Protests will break out in the Atlantis region over the lack of bioluminescent fungus maintenance on the interior of the Atlantean Dome
  • New Zealanders will begin to report live Moa sightings.

June 2024

  • The seventh karmic awakening will conclude, initiating the beginning of the seventh unconscious awakening.
  • An arrow of justice will strike the Pacific Ocean and cause an unusual hurricane.
  • Sub-Saharan Africa will experience unusually high amounts of rain.
  • Spotted lanterns flies will increase in number across the Atlantic seaboard.
  • Discord Messenger will be forcibly taken over by a group of hackers who shut off moderation tools and generate an endless deluge of porn bots sending direct messages to all users, causing many devices with the app installed to become unusable. The media will decree it a "minor Y2K."

July 2024

  • Barack Obama will change his first name to Jimmy in honor of former president Jimmy Carter's apparent passing away.
  • Former US president Jimmy Carter will transcend his material form and enter a new stage of consciousness. This will be falsely reported as a death.
  • Lightwaves from the sun will shift in frequency.
  • Sunspots will cause power outages worldwide

August 2024

  • Jimmy Obama will convert to Baha'i.
  • The despicable and vile Vladimir Putin will experience worsening acid reflux.
  • An earthquake will make global news.
  • India will see a major political change.

September 2024

  • Taylor Swift will leave the Muslim Faith after paparazzi reveal her hardcore second life in the BDSM community. Millions of fans will attempt to get into hardcore BDSM without proper education, resulting in an uptick of hospitalizations for immolations, bruising, blood clots, lacerations, and panic attacks.
  • X (Formerly Twitter) will be renamed to Y (Formerly X)
  • Facebook brings back the "The" in an attempt to recapture relevance.
  • Nail Art returns as a major fashion trend among Eastern European teenagers.

October 2024

  • King Charles will perish in an automobile accident suspiciously reminiscent of Princess Diana's infamous demise.
  • Dutch Republicanism will also see a new resurgence. Both of these royal incidents are related to the alignment of Uranus with Saturn in the 5th octant of the soul. The world will begin turning away from Monarchies again. Keep your eyes on France in 2025.
  • Fish will have a good month.
  • Jimmy Obama will make a campaign speech in support of incumbent US president Joe Biden, who will announce subsequently that in honor of former US President Jimmy Carter, he is changing his first name to Jimmy.
  • Mu and Lemuria will reach a new trade agreement and lasting peace treaty establishing joint governance of Atlantis.

November 2024

  • King Penguins will begin constructing cities in Antarctica, having established a system of communication suited to their biology. They will also discover fire, and begin cooking their food.
  • Dolphins will initiate trade negotiations with King Penguins.
  • Jimmy Biden will win re-election.
  • Eighteen hidden ghouls will make themselves known in new and mysterious ways.
  • Marxists will discover a new theorem for calculating labor value.

December 2024

  • Lye soap makes a comeback as a health trend.
  • The economies of Georgia and Algeria will boom.
  • The Gaia's vortex will begin to churn counter-clockwise. Listen for it.
  • Mercury will go retrograde unexpectedly.

Sounds like it's going to be an exciting year, my kittens. Please remember to take good care of your skin and your yoni.


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