if you use the phrase "be normal" as if it's something to aspire to, kindly take a long walk off a short plank. or block me. whichever is easier for you.
child of the 80s
i escaped a cult.
all of the content warnings.
all of them.
tag: exerian's tragic backstory
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akfbfnkakfnalal okay fuck. the year of the six emperors was not a 1v1v1v1v1v1 death match
It was Maximinus fucking Thrax on one end
And five other emperors teamed up against him on the other side
It was a 1v5 and Max Thrax fucking won (and then was murdered in a mutiny...) omg that rules
I laughed so hard I felt light headed last night when I learned that two of his rivals, who were co rulers and who lost, had the names Pupienus and Balbinus ajdbfjlakabfka
I was just reading about that thanks to your last post. Real "Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power" hours there
I kinda want to know more about this Aspasius of Ravenna? Max Thrax never made it to Rome during the three years of his rule, but had a secretary who at one point held a notable academic position in Rome, and the Encyclopedia Britannica vaguely says "his orations, which are praised for their style, are lost." How did these guys meet? is it just me, or would an academic secretary known for rhetoric like this possibly have a decent amount of power, having the ear of the emperor who's mostly focused on keeping his soldiers happy? Alternatively, would this person be in Rome, actually executing some of the emperor's power in absentia? Wikipedia mentions a stone memorializing some road improvement under Max, I can't imagine the Senate doing that and attributing it to him, it's probably under his direction if someone bothered to mention him? Is that what Aspasius was up to?
This might be the single funniest episode in late roman history. My wife and I love recalling both the extremely cool sounding Maximinus Thrax and the extremely silly Pupienus
it's so good. I love that the wikipedia page for Pupienus is like, the first one I've seen about a roman emperor that has a pronunciation guide like,,, they're just "yes. it does actually sound how you think it does, it really is that funny" lol
