one thing i am Not wanting to do on here is obsess over optics and take anything and everyone i see in the worst faith. we're online, probably far apart, we live different lives, and it's not going to be crystal clear what everyone's beliefs are, or what tone someone is intending.
i've never been a fan of the whole "you're an enemy until proven otherwise" mentality. trust me, i get it, but it harms everyone, and doesn't give anyone the grace to learn and grow, nor share their own lived experiences in a collaborative way. no room for growth and no place to self-express means everyone is stilted and short and that we're all walking on eggshells. we need to be more willing to make mistakes, to take accountability, and to point out when someone is hurtful in a way that still leaves the other person with humanity/belonging.
sometimes we won't have the space to react like that, and that's understandable, but it's better to let the shit out elsewhere or process it a different way than to focus it all in one blast.
life is just messy and often incomprehensible, and that's because we only have our own perspective. once we try to understand each other and apply a healthy dose of nuance, then we and our communities can heal