The four aspirants knew these trials would test their mind, body, and souls. In fact they already had. They've survived months in the woods, worked their body into peak condition, survived bouts of starvation, fought off demonic possession...
The four, two women and two men, today found themselves waiting on a remote plain. Soft rolling plains and crumbling towers dotted the background. It was the sort of pristine isolation that few could afford.
What trial could await them this time? Each had three suitcases, one with their essentials, one with weapons, and one filled with things they loved. All three were supposed to be key for their ascension, although their essentials have been the only suitcase useful so far.
The representative approached them from an unmarked van driven off-road to their location. The representative's clean-shaven face and nicely ironed suit seemed unfitting, as it always was, for a secretive organization tasked with managing the ascension of new deities.
The representative spoke "You are close to achieving your goals. You've proven loyalty, mental strength, and physical fortitude. All that's left is a few guarantees before the end. Now-"
The representative coughed. Then, he looked distant, as if buying time. The aspirants murmured among themselves. Last time the representative delayed like this, they were stripped naked, drugged asleep, and awoke on the streets. The time before that- they were temporarily sold to some mafia. What awful adventure awaited them this time?
The representative cracked a crooked smile, but only for a moment, before he continued.
"Now as you know- many, before our process, would lose their mind when infused with divinity. In fact, many still do. However, there are ways to minimize the damage. To prepare yourself for godly ego. And to act as a sort trial run-" it sounded as if the representative almost laughed, but it was hard to tell with his stoic expression. He continued, "There's usually one in the batch that can't handle it."
The representative went back to the van for something. The aspirants stared at each other silently. One day, they'd be part of an ever-fluctuating pantheon of local-spirits, minor deities, and well-worshiped gods. These things were necessary for maintaining balance even in their modern world. Today, however, they were labrats for an organization for whom balance of cosmic powers was simply their business.
The representative produced a small table, a pen, and four papers. He grinned like a madman, showing uncharacteristic emotion. "Sign."
One by one, the aspirants approached. The papers, one for each, were all for some sort of deed. Each took their time, trying to interpret what the hell they were signing.
Only one, a mousey woman, recognized it for what it was. Fae magic. Magic, in a legal sense, was strictly forbidden outside of gods and their constituents. But certain black-market magic was more common, and the woman was quite familiar with the fae kind. You could even say she specialized in it.
The aspirants returned to their seats, only to have the representative stare at them. There was a rumbling in the air. A rumbling, that the more astute recognized as magic. Over the aspirants. Over their bodies, histories, and things.
The aspirant stared nervously at the representative. One man, the most direct of the bunch, demanded an explanation. The representative ignored him, cracked open a beer from his van, and made the a phone call. The aspirants froze, waiting for the ball to drop. And waited. And waited.
Moments passed. The buzzing in the air was almost annoying. The representative had produced pipe, and began smoking something particularly strong- like a skunk smell but stranger and uncanny. No one dared moved. Someone's luggage knocked about, but otherwise the air was strangely quiet except for a buzzing hum.
The aspirants began to feel funny. Like they were drunk- deeply drunk. A sort of clear-headed drunk you never sober up from. The drunkenness of arrogance. The other male aspirant cried out, holding his head, like he had lost something important.
The fae-magic woman was the first to act. She checked her luggage- not the essentials, nor the weapons, but her personal. Collectables, games, a few tech knick-knacks. It was all there. She sighed in relief. If anything, there was more? But of course she remembered being bequeathed this collective. And she wouldn't dare miss out on such an important and rare piece of games history.
The direct man followed. His second suitcase was redundant, as his personal suitcase was full of antique guns. A mostly rusty pile pf things, but he suddenly found them maintained. And he had- well, he had quite a lot of them, right? Sure, it was an unusual interest for someone of his standing but he was always headstrong about what he loved-
The other man wailed about losing something important as he opened his suitcase. He seemed to have fairly standard interests, so it didn't surprise the aspirants when it was filled with sports items, souvenirs, and beauty products? He cried as a sports uniform rumbled, twisted, and hardened into hairspray.
The other woman was too distracted to check her stuff- Her many piercings, the ones a reasonable person would remove before trials of life and death, reappeared with all the ones that were too expensive and too impractical but she secretly always wanted. Well, too impractical and too expensive for someone else.
The representative laughed. "You finally figured it out, aspirants. Or should I say ladies? The closest human ego to that of a god, is that of a princess's. And a particularly spoiled one, at that."
But the aspirants were too distracted. The fae-magic woman, suddenly endowed with a few extra cup sizes and penchant for bragging, declared her plans for her goddess-hood to a very distracted punk prince and surprisingly gruff gunsliger tomboy. And why shouldn't they be enthralled? Her body was absolutely perfect! Even if meant needing to rely on her secret special interest in fae magic to make through the more physically demanding trials.
The remaining soon-to-be-princess was having a crises of identity. She wanted to prove something important- but what? She had felt so accomplished with each completed trial. Maybe ascension was all an excuse to stroke her ego- did she really need anything more? It was the other three that were odd, with their strange obsessions and goals! That's clearly why the other three always banded together all this time- they were made of lesser stuff!
The representative cleaned up his pipe and tossed his beer can into a bag. Personally, he thought this step always felt a little unnecessarily cruel. Surely, with their organizations power and resources, they could find a way to help aspirants that were a little emptier on the inside? Oh well, he wasn't the one calling the shots. And it sure was funny watching hardened, callous aspirants act like spoiled royalty. Maybe some higher up thought brattier gods was important for the cosmic ecology.
Soon four vans would appear, one for each newly minted royalty. There would be a resting period of a few weeks. Then a final few preparations- the balance of universe could not wait much longer for its new deities.