Its been kind of weird for me to move from a "at your own risk" traumaqueer writing, kink, and art space on Twitter to elsewhere. I got really comfy with vibes of "disengage with people you don't like", "it's okay to dislike/not want to be part of all or parts of this space", and "try not to moralize disagreements". Like, it felt there was a healthy acceptance of contradictions or fallibilities, and it made me feel more comfortable connecting to people in the space.
I definitely miss the "try not to moralize everything" bit. Refusing to moralize most conflict feels like a sick trick to mediate disputes, especially between marginalized, struggling, or otherwise deeply neurodivergent people.
Just speaking for my communities- insane disabled queers will 100% hit you with the "you're sanist/ablest/transphobic" over stuff that's small, neutral, or even unreasonable. And I'd dare say, they have 100% a right to do so. Refusing to instantly moralize everything allows you to go "yeah, I see your point but we're unable to do X/take side X" and maybe compromise, admit you're making an imperfect decision, or admit that our world fucking sucks for a lot of people and you're not in a position to solve that right now.
I feel like this is especially handy in intracommunity conflict. Both sides are going to justify their beefs with one another with their politics and identities. Even those politics and identities are essentially the same.