Best to Play/Pilot drunk: Super Turbo E.Honda. He punishes even a modicum of sloppy play while requiring brave bulldogging to win. If you can be brazen enough to accept losing as a part of the funny process, you're good to go.
Worst to Play/Pilot drunk: Footsies P2 (from Footsies). Too much precision, reaction, knowledge, and timing to ever be sloppy with. You can't even random out someone who isn't equally as swashbuckled as you, if they know to wait. There's effectively no amount of extra you can do to alleviate your aggression. P2 because I'm a P1 prefer-er.
note: i have never gotten drunk in my life, so i'm not sure how this works. sorry