lol, rofl even
im thinking about the very specific joy i got 3 years and two days ago, realizing i would be able to say "i love my girlfriend" and "my wife" and how like... specifically affirmed i feel as a woman when discussing my attraction to other women. it's more of a direct feeling than anything i felt pre-transition when i'd be like, open about being into men... probably because i had internalized my misinterpretation of the oft-homoerotic way straight men bond as like... something expected of me yknow? like 12 yr old fin was like "ok yeah i like men but who cares. men are supposed to be like weird and close with eachother its only strange if you say it out loud bc we live in a society and it sucks"
but now whenever i think about like, the fact that i am a woman with a girlfriend or i see my friends yuripost etc i get this like... rly tingly glee in my core tht feels super unique, only similar to the like, abject peacefulness and warmth i feel when thinking abt mine n my gf's nonbinary partner
n it's not like i can't feel it when thinking abt some certain men but like... idk maybe it's me finally warming up to my own existence as, like, a Person rather than a nebulous concept lmao