oh yeah so on Wednesday I went out for coffee and a chat with an old friend I used to date like 12-13 years ago, and it went super well. we have both grown quite a lot with some perspective and therapy work, and it felt so nice to be able to catch up and have a nice conversation without the old gloom of our unhealthy relationship hanging over it. both of us had our current partners each respectively warn us "hey, have fun but stay mindful of your old trauma," and it's very cool to see that we both found partners who watch out for our wellbeing without being controlling about it.
every time he said something about the relationship that he and his current partner have, I couldn't help but grin and coo like "aww omg that's so cute." we both got into relationships with people who wanted it open/polyamorous, and it's taught both of us how to really appreciate love and experience happiness for others without jealousy & envy. it's nice to see that, yeah, sometimes you CAN just be friends with your exes.