so long, and thanks for all the fish

having a spot of bad brain, decided to allow myself to lay down and mope for a few minutes

and just remembered I left my tea steeping in the kitchen half an hour ago lol. at least it will be perfectly fine if I microwave it for a minute before stirring in my milk and sugar. thinking that it's possible I might need to change up my ADHD meds

bad brain is better now (: tea and some music were wonderful distractions. here's what I listened to while I enjoyed my tea (along with some other covers by this immensely talented person)

(as a side note: I'm making a playlist full of songs that make me laugh and/or help inspire me to work on myself and my mental health; feel free to rec any songs that do that for you)

I'm still working on the "establishing a sleep schedule and hygiene routine" thing but like, I'm so much more motivated to go do things and I have so much more patience when it comes to stressful/aggravating situations. my parents asked me if I'd thought about getting back into the workforce lately, and for maybe the first time in my entire life, I responded "yeah I have!" and felt myself actually meaning it, without any self doubt or inner noooo-I-don't-wanna thoughts.

I'm not entirely sure if covid safety might play a role in what kind of job I take up, but I've always wanted to try barista-ing. baristing? baristando. I want to make the coffee's

but also, I am not yet ready for that. I need tools and instructional materials, and I need a simpler/lower-entry job to raise the funds to obtain said tools. and for the first time in my entire life, I can conceptualize the road forward to where I want to be and every step it might require along the way. shit is wild. I know I've been putting in the earnest work on myself, but got damn how do the therapy work so well

I'm still working on the "establishing a sleep schedule and hygiene routine" thing but like, I'm so much more motivated to go do things and I have so much more patience when it comes to stressful/aggravating situations. my parents asked me if I'd thought about getting back into the workforce lately, and for maybe the first time in my entire life, I responded "yeah I have!" and felt myself actually meaning it, without any self doubt or inner noooo-I-don't-wanna thoughts.

I'm not entirely sure if covid safety might play a role in what kind of job I take up, but I've always wanted to try barista-ing. baristing? baristando. I want to make the coffee's

I was expecting a lot more in-depth trauma work tbh. I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself or have impostor syndrome about it and seek out another specialist

me: yeah I've been feeling really good this week! I had a couple minor stressful events and was able to talk myself back down

therapist: great! well you seem like you have everything you need, best of luck over the holidays

me, in my brain: oh god I've convinced her that I'm totally fine. oh no. what have I done

well if nothing else, I am pretty sure that I'm still on a waitlist or two for other therapists and I might just go ahead and let them assess me to see if I need any more brain work