so long, and thanks for all the fish

having a bit of anxiety¹ about kitties and want to make brownies about it... but it's already almost 10 pm and I don't think I have the wherewithal for brownies that late at night when I'd have to wait until at least 1 am to even enjoy one

so maybe instead I make chocolate chip pancakes about it. maybe I even throw a little bit of cocoa powder into them and transform them into double chocolate pancakes. heck

1. (I have also taken the gabapentin about it do not worry)

man being an entire adult and in a better headspace/mental health routine, and subsequently realizing that I can just choose to disengage with angry people online, has been so fucking good for me overall

I reblogged something on tumblr earlier and was talking in my tags (as I often do), and in said tags, I agreed with OP (who I am not following and have never interacted with before in my life) and reinforced their points. and then a little while later they reblogged me with a screenshot of my tags to hyperfixate on one specific part within them just to be like "this word you used is WRONG and actually YOU'RE part of the problem for saying this"

and for about five seconds I had a small panic like OH NO THIS PERSON MISUNDERSTOOD MY INTENT AND NOW THEY'RE MAD AT ME EVEN THOUGH WE AGREE. and then the resilient part of my brain stepped in to be like but who cares, actually. and I went "oh yeah. okay," deleted my reblog, and blocked OP. because I don't need to engage with people who take my posts in bad faith, and I don't fucking know them anyway. I will have forgotten about this entire interaction before the week is over. not my problem anymore lol I don't need random tumblr users to like me

officially having to take Noodles & Co off my list of "restaurants that don't make me sick" today, after it gave me a migraine this morning. weh

I took them immediately in a haze of migraine and panic because I had the thought "I cannot deal with 24 full hours of brain zaps again," and then remembered that I have to take meds again tonight and I don't want to get serotonin syndrome 🤦 soooo I think maybe I'll push it back a few hours tonight if possible, in hopes that keeps my levels stable enough??

if I had been thinking clearly, I would have taken a third of my usual Lexapro dose instead of the full amount-- just to stave off the brain zaps for the remaining 8-ish hours before my next dose. but I'm being gracious with myself, because it's really hard to think clearly while your guts are in turmoil and your head is pounding in time with your heartbeat. the good news is that my other brain med doubles as a blood pressure med, so I think that will help with counteracting any possible side effects from having a little too much Lexapro in my system tomorrow. but maybe I also only take 2/3 of my usual dose tonight?? idk I'm not completely in my right head today so it's hard to say for sure. I just don't want to make myself REALLY sick yfm

I checked multiple verifiable sources and they all say that if you miss a dose of lexapro, you in fact SHOULD take it as soon as possible unless it's close to time for your next dose. the same is also true of guanfacine (my ADHD med). both also have warnings about experiencing discontinuation/withdrawal symptoms if you miss a dose for too long or too many doses in a row. so I feel much better about taking my usual dose close to on time tonight now, knowing that I made the correct choice after all and should continue to do so from now on

I think the blood pressure migraine has finally left me, but my head is still hanging onto that weird "had a headache earlier" feeling so I'm not so sure I'm in the clear yet. I think I'll take some Tylenol preventatively and go from there