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Ambiguously Queer Person. Level 8 Social Justice Warrior / Class Warlock (Gestalt). Just hoping people start using this site so I can stop using the Bird Site.


bearly
@bearly

Having inherited a super nice setup, Bear is collecting vinyls once more. What a lucky hobby to have. I focus on the albums that aren't super in-demand because I don't have much disposable income—barely any at all, honestly—but that's okay, we make do, yes we do.

IIRC the first album I acquired myself was from a thrift store when I was in middle school. I think it was a Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass compilation (maybe "South of the Border"?) It's lost to time, but thankfully we ALSO inherited a shit ton of Herb from multiple grandpas. Most of the core discography is accounted for, so we're good there. If you ask me, everyone needs in their record collection several covers of "Tequila", each more embarrassing than the last.

But I digress. Here comes the real meats.

Bear's informal reviews of what just came in the mail. They are not super in-depth or informational—this is all feelings, baby. No time to think. Today, our newbies are from a fellow named Igor, who also happens to be Person of the Week.

Congratulations, Igor ·.·★ヽʕ •ᴥ•ʔノ★·.·

First, we've got "BullAngus", the 1971 album by BullAngus. There's a bull on the cover and I bet his name is Angus. But most importantly, it is some kind of stoner rock/funk concept venture. Find the most core elements of the genre and use them to smack the shit out of the listener. Sometimes people do that and fail at it and it sucks, but BullAngus succeeded. And there's a bull on the cover.

BullAngus, side 1. "Miss Casey" has graced ears more often thanks to being the first track. And what a track it is! But let's be honest, this whole side is a liquid gold waterslide. It just ends with some crazy noise. Because that's what you do sometimes.

BullAngus, side 2. Oh, but we're not slowing down just yet. There's a flute solo ass to ass with an electric piano solo, and if that doesn't bring you joy, I don't know what fucking will. THEN it starts mellowing out a TINY, TEENSY bit. It doesn't stay mellow for long.

The verdict: a great addition to any record collection.

Next up is a testament to my dear Igor's stock: our second album is Rick Astley's "Hold Me In Your Arms" from 1988.

Oh, how Bear has longed for this.

Sometimes I listen to Rick Astley and I lay down and cry because love and romance feel like a big fat fucking lie. How the fuck, one might wonder, can I ever feel loved and capable of loving if it isn't this man? This man singing to me in his seductive feather bed of a voice; how can it be anyone but him?

Side 1 is basically your entire relationship arc. Your first meeting, the sparks, and by the end he is begging for you to take him back. I'm not convinced he's actually done anything worth ending a relationship over, but, whatever. It was probably Bear's personal issues and dear, sweet Rick got caught in the crossfire. Oh, the guilt.

We have our Honeymoon period with "She Wants to Dance With Me" and "Take Me To Your Heart". The flirting, the coyness, all that stuff; the exhilaration of young love. Ah.

Some time has passed, but uh-oh, here come the seeds of doubt with "I Don't Want to Lose Her". Fuck. Shit. We lost some major love points somehow and here's the big wind-up in the form of a peppy dance track.

"Giving Up On Love" is probably the most pleasant break-up song I've ever met, but that's where we're at now. But this isn't an easy decision. Oh, the tumult.

Next, "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" (not to be confused with the TLC song, which is WAY hornier) is the getting back together song. Of fucking course the begging will work.

Side 2? I haven't though about it too hard, but oh boy we got bops. Some of it sounds like early Sonic the Hedgehog music, which is peak "here's two things you love".

Bear assures Bear's partner that Bear would never cheat with Rick Astley. But Bear is lying. Lying like a filthy pig.

Our third and final acquisition is...wait for it..."Music Therapy", a Ladislav Štaidl Orchestra compilation from 1981 I think. What is Ladislav Štaidl Orchestra? Musical treasures of Czechoslovakia. I don't know. It's a bunch of wildly different songs that somehow works together to some kind of effect. Is it therapeutic? Possibly. More research is required.

Sometimes you happen across records that you just like and you don't gotta explain shit. This is one of them.

Join us next time for some other stuff. Goodnight and goodbear.


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