the gang plays mario kart wii
For the purposes of this exercise we can assume that dr crygor did some weird shit to the wii so that they can all play on the same system. Don’t worry about it
Wario: Mona actually clicked on wario first but they argue over it and wario ends up with wario
Mona: She goes for waluigi next but everyone vehemently discourages her from playing as waluigi because “that’s too weird”. They all expect her to play as daisy instead but she goes with birdo because “she’s prettier”
Jimmy T: Funky kong because “i like his style”. He knows not the power he wields
Orbulon: Rosalina and he puts a lot of thought into choosing his bike and insists that he’s played out every bike scenario in his head and that this is objectively the best one. Loses anyways
Kat: Kat and ana fight over yoshi but kat wins so ana has to settle for the next best thing
Ana: Koopa troopa
9-volt: Wants to play as bowser but 18-volt wants him to play as mario so that they can both be mario and luigi. 9-volt begrudgingly relinquishes bowser to play as the inferior character and wario is pretty mad that anyone in this house is choosing to play as mario but what is he gonna do
18-volt: Luigi
5-volt: dry bowser because she unlocked him so she gets dibs
Penny: Toadette
Dr. Crygor: Toad because “then I can be your grandpa in the game too”. 9-volt argues that toad is not toadette’s grandpa but dr. crygor is like well is toadette’s grandpa a toad? Yes? Then i’m her grandpa
Red: Bowser and everyone is surprised he didn’t choose bowser jr. but they have nothing in common, c'mon guys
Ashley: Dry bones because king boo is “lame”
Spitz: Diddy kong because hes a little guy
Dribble: Donkey kong because hes a big guy
young Cricket: Princess peach because she is nice
Master mantis: Baby luigi. He just saw baby luigi and said yes….he is the one. Did not elaborate
Mike: Faced with a lack of sufficiently cool options, Mike has no choice but to go with king boo. Everyone makes fun of him relentlessly because king boo is lame even though no one thought that until ashley said it