"Fred is a writer, house husband, and dog dad. When not managing treat distribution and meeting tummy scratch quotas, he enjoys playing video games, reading, and furthering the Trans Agenda."


I used to go on Facebook periodically to keep up with the local queer Facebook group but I realized most of what I saw there was really pissing me off so I stopped going on Facebook entirely. I log in maybe once a week and today's log in showed me the top post of the local queer group - someone saying their dating preference was really depressing them, how come they can't just find a cis man to date, as a trans man.

I... sympathize with being lonely, I really do. And. The great thing to learn about "dating preferences" is that it isn't a free pass. You've identified you have a preference, fine, whomst among us does not. That's not the end of the exercise though! If your preference is for a particular type of sex, why does it need to be done with a home grown penis instead of a store bought one? Why does the penis-haver have to be masc? Many questions! Having a preference doesn't excuse you from interrogating what is informing that preference. That's really hard to do, I will give you that. Maybe the end of your self reflection comes up with really neutral informed answers, so your preference remains, I buy that that could happen. And. Tbh, when it comes to penises...I really don't think a lot of "preferences" are just neutral and healthy to hang on to, ESPECIALLY as a trans person.

I scrolled through 35 comments and liked the ONE where someone very gently pointed out that lots of non-cis men have penises if that's what OP was looking for and the commenter got a mouthful about being triggering and rude and assuming blah blah blah. Disappointing all around.


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in reply to @fred's post:

I feel like the whole subject is fraught, and I have a semi-rant about why, and one part of it is on the topic of how difficult it is to talk about having sincere, powerful feelings about things.

Rather than subject you to the semi-rant, I’ll tell you that I appreciate and respect that you have sincere & powerful feelings about this subject and were willing to post about them. Thanks.