I used to go on Facebook periodically to keep up with the local queer Facebook group but I realized most of what I saw there was really pissing me off so I stopped going on Facebook entirely. I log in maybe once a week and today's log in showed me the top post of the local queer group - someone saying their dating preference was really depressing them, how come they can't just find a cis man to date, as a trans man.
I... sympathize with being lonely, I really do. And. The great thing to learn about "dating preferences" is that it isn't a free pass. You've identified you have a preference, fine, whomst among us does not. That's not the end of the exercise though! If your preference is for a particular type of sex, why does it need to be done with a home grown penis instead of a store bought one? Why does the penis-haver have to be masc? Many questions! Having a preference doesn't excuse you from interrogating what is informing that preference. That's really hard to do, I will give you that. Maybe the end of your self reflection comes up with really neutral informed answers, so your preference remains, I buy that that could happen. And. Tbh, when it comes to penises...I really don't think a lot of "preferences" are just neutral and healthy to hang on to, ESPECIALLY as a trans person.
I scrolled through 35 comments and liked the ONE where someone very gently pointed out that lots of non-cis men have penises if that's what OP was looking for and the commenter got a mouthful about being triggering and rude and assuming blah blah blah. Disappointing all around.
