Don’t panic but I’ve been talking to some people “in the know” and Drew Barrymore is definitely, 100% trying to kill you

(trying to prosecute a mass murderer but I am too online) Your Honor, the actions of the defendant were so weird. Not only that, but they were creepy and gross.

The Guy Who Gets Killed is coming to our house for dinner and we’re all scared we’re going to kill him and get in HUGE trouble! I can’t do time, I’m too soft!

Well, it finally happened… he showed up unannounced while the Killing Guy was over using our washing machine and you can probably guess what happened next