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TuxedoDragon
@TuxedoDragon

i wanted to write something about tf tropes after answering a couple of lore-related questions about amphimorpho over on my discord server, so here i am :3

i say tf tropes, but i really meant like, one specific thing, and i'm more than likely gonna talk about it in the context of type 0 (mutant or hybrid) amphimorpho


i'm personally not super interested in transformations that end in the individual's identity replaced or erased...it's not very satisfying to me. i like exploring the ways one grapples with the mental shifts of a transformation, while still fully or mostly aware of themselves. still themselves, but forced to reckon with the ways they've changed, directly and indirectly, as a result of their transformation

my amphimorpho species specifically, i envision being transformed into one to have a subtle, but steadily noticeable effect on the mind (i mean, if you wanna get really technical, the brain literally gets gooped into a nerve bundle-like structure). they're intelligent critters with a capacity for human-like reasoning, so of course, you likely wouldn't immediately notice anything off about your thought processes; you're not fighting off "animal instincts" like the kids in Animorphs are, after all

rather, it's the little things you start to notice, maybe shortly after the initial shock of the physical transformation - changes in your preferences for various things, quiet urges that come out of nowhere that aren't necessarily weird, but they're weird for you. suddenly discovering that your reaction to being startled is to bite at the offending stimulus, or that you're using the sensory input from your newly-heightened senses to analyze your surroundings as easily as if you'd been born that way. they're things that are either infrequent or easy to make an active choice to not engage with, things so small that others would blink and miss them, but you notice them, and they're hard to just ignore.

i'm fascinated with the ways different personalities deal with that. do these minute mental changes drive your curiosity, or do you fear them? do you see this suite of new feelings, desires, and behaviors as something to be accepted in order for you to adapt and move forward, or do you bury and reject them, hoping to preserve any shred of your former self that you can? to what end do you feel holding onto that version of yourself is helpful?

i like the complication shapeshifting can add to this equation, too - it may give you back your original form, however temporary, but your mental state is forever altered, regardless of what form you take, and that's sometimes a scarier form of permanence.

it makes for a nice metaphor for a variety of scenarios, and that's half the appeal for me (the other half being, of course, "what if i put these characters in a situation, would that be fucked up or what??"). struggling with the mental changes that accompany a sudden, unwanted physical transformation, trying to hold onto your sense of self, becomes a representation of how trauma changes you, or coping with puberty as an unaware trans teen as it wreaks havoc on everything you've ever thought you'd known about yourself, really fun stuff!! it could just as well represent positive self-discovery, finding things out about yourself that you wouldn't have been able to without some major change.

i'll 100% be touching on a lot of this in my webcomic, in due time, and i can't wait to do it! transformation is such a neat avenue for exploring identity and the many facets that make it up, can you blame this silly noodle for being obsessed with the concept? XP


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in reply to @TuxedoDragon's post:

"rather, it's the little things you start to notice, maybe shortly after the initial shock of the physical transformation..."

oh my god YES!! i feel like that's such an underexplored aspect of transformation (or maybe i just haven't consumed enough content with tf themes). it's not just "this is the new me" but the gradual process of discovering/learning/realizing who and what you are now!!

Very exciting ideas. Have an essay back, apparently:

We've also never been interested in "identity death", as i see it referred toβ€”at least not when it's permanent. What's the point of TFing the character if it just overwrites them? Like, sure, the sequence part is fun! it's sensory! it is technically where the magic happens!, but i ultimately view it as a means to the end-in-itself of experiencing being something else… which ID forbids just as i'm getting excited for what happens next. (I do like the idea of taking a temporary identity vacation, so to speak, because afterwards the character can essentially react to what they did in an altered mental state, and that can be fun.)

I'm probably off on my own ramble here but i get the sense that a lot of TF fans are specifically TF sequence fans who've never had a need to think about such sub-distinctions. Whereas i'm mainly after wholesome, affirming post-TF instead. Otherwise, i just feel guilty or betrayed over whatever enjoyment i got out of the sequence. Flipping the ID switch is a good way of doing that to me, and i yearn for a world with better tagging and content warning, so those who like it and those who dislike it aren't put so at odds.

Anyway, i'm pretty sure i'd very much be cool with the kinds of changes you mention. I'd be willing to settle for somewhat less ignorable instincts than that! As long as there's enough continuityβ€”i'm still experiencing me adjusting to the formβ€”and it's not anything i really can't deal with, we vibe. Of course, experiencing something can be very different from thinking about it. I'd still take that gamble though, and theoretically i could just TF into something that minimizes any issues.

I would take a good amount of comfort in the ability to shapeshift back, i'd want to use it a bit just to be sure i can, but why would i want to do it longterm when a nonhuman shapeshifter is my sense of self? I already feel disconnected from this vessel, i'd find it outright euphoric to have that physical and mental confirmation that i'm a different species now and i don't need to pretend to relate to humanity anymore~

And hey, since the instincts are shapeshifter species instincts, those sound like the exact kind of thing i should be loaded up with anyway, shouldn't i? Is there any better way to be affirmed and make sure i get the most out of the change? :3

I'm always thoughting about such things, i even had to shave off a good few excess paragraphs before posting it in fact… Maybe someday i'll be able to collate All my thoughts somewhat efficiently

Also writing it gradually gave me a massive changernoodle mood, oops

One thing I find interesting is a somewhat inversion of this, in a transhuman way. If you gave yourself a synthetic body capable of self-modification or shapeshifting and the correct interfaces, how would it feel? How much could a mind adapt to intuitively and how much would need a computer translator akin to a second artificial mind that allows your will to be translated to machine actions?