ive realised what we need to do as a workaround for the "you don't get notified when someone answers your ask" and its embracing the old tumblr method of bookmarking the tag for your username (e.g. i've bookmarked #slimelia) and when people answer an ask from me, they tag it with that tag
"but alice that seems ridiculously clunky" yeah it is but it's how we handled asks and xkit-style replies (back when OP couldnt reply to comments on their own post) on tumblr for YEARS until a better system was implemented. so