professional crafter of artisanal queer tatterpigs | I'm the monster wreathed in smoke and orange blossoms


futilemancy
@futilemancy

I have been a grand vizier for many years and have served 12 lords before their... untimely ends. Here is how I have been able to give my picky lords their potions without the pesky Royal Taster getting in the way.

  1. Apply the medicine into a lipstick. That way when their favorite concubine kisses them, BAM! Portioned!
  2. Freeze the medicine into an ice cube in their drink. Once it melts, BAM! Potioned!
  3. Coat a pin with the medicine and hide it in the royal gown. When they put on the robes, BAM! Potioned!
  4. Many a liege cannot resist some peanut butter. Hide the medicine in a spoonful of peanut butter. When they go to slurp it up, BAM! Potioned!
  5. Heavy - and sweaty - is the head that wears the crown. Drench a rag in medicine and use it to daub their royal forehead. Once it drops down into their mouth, BAM! Potioned!
  6. Craft a special cup that only dispenses the potion once it is fully tilted. Make it into a little dragon so that no matter what's in the cup they'll want to see that little guy! Bottoms up! BAM! Potioned!

No matter what, remember that having fun and being creative is what being a grand vizier is all about. Hit the comments if you have more potion-giving tips! But only if you have personally vetted its efficacy!


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