sphere of the sacred worm

Sometimes as an entrepreneur when you people ask me what LEGFINGER is i can't help but laugh. I mean, it should be pretty self-explanatory, right? LEGFINGER is a finger, only it can be affixed to one's leg. "Leg. Finger. Leg-finger." See? No advertising tricks, no fine print, no bullshit. if you were to purchase LEGFINGER today, what you would get is exactly what it says on the tin: LEGFINGER – The Finger Of The Leg. What's this? You're still confused? "But isnt that what a toe is?", you are saying? Absolutely not. In no way, semantically, functionally, or legally is LEGFINGER a toe, and frankly, to construe it to be as such would be an act of blatant dishonesty. No, I'm not upset at you. It's alright, I get this a lot; let me clarify. The difference is simple: toes are, I think any reasonable person would agree, the fingers of the feet. On the other hand, LEGFINGER bypasses the foot entirely for a direct Leg-To-Finger-Connection™. Additionally, toes also lack many of LEGFINGER's quality-of-life features and premium content like wifi capability or the upcoming LEGFINGER Battle Pass. So, yeah, I think it's safe to say LEGFINGER defiinitely not just some measly toe. I hope that clears things up. Ok, let's see, I'll have a large corned beef on rye and a medium root beer. What's that now? "Do I want a pickle with that?", you're asking me? Ha! What do I look like, the founder of NECKTOOTH? Uhhh yeah I think I'll be wanting a fuckin pickle man. Actually, you know what? Sales are up this quarter; why don't we make it two. That's two of your finest half-sour pickles, a corned beef sandwhich on rye, and a medium root beer, got it? You sure? I don't like repeating myself. I'm literally the LEGFINGER guy in case you forgot.