sphere of the sacred worm

Take an onion. Dice it up, put it in a big pot with a tiny bit of olive oil. Fry those little bad boys until they're a nice golden colour. Take some ground beef. Most people buy it lean so they can cook it in the same pot as the onions without having to drain the fat, but if you buy the normal stuff you can save 50 cents on groceries and spend 70 more between soap and water when you wash the second pot. Brown the beef. Drain it. Toss it in with the onions. Add garlic, peppers, and your favourite italian herbs. Let it simmer for a bit. Put a pot on to boil, then cook the spaghetti noodles. Grab a spoon and try a taste of the sauce. Ooh! Try another taste. Oh yeah. Get a bigger spoon and keep tasting the sauce. Christ, man, what are you doing? You're eating all the sauce and you're supposed to be cooking for a family of 5 - soon to be 6. Little do you know, your wife is pregnant, and she's going to announce it at this nice family dinner. Of course, you'll be delighted. You love your wife and you've wanted to raise a family with her for years now. You'll be delighted again in 3 months when you get the ultrasound results and find out it's a girl. You always thought you wanted to raise a son, but now having a beautiful baby daughter sounds wonderful. You'll be surprised though 23 years later when she comes home from college over winter break with a girlfriend. You're confused. You didn't know she was gay. Then, you're immediately hit with guilt and heartbreak. Somewhere along the line, you must have said something or done something that made her think she couldn't show you this side of herself. You tell her you'll support and love her no matter what. You're admittedly not the most up to date on social issues, but you are trying. 9 years later, she'll get married to a different woman than the one she brought home. You'll cry tears of joy. As the crowd cheers after the first kiss, she's beaming with pride. She really does have her mother's smile. If only her mother was alive today for this moment. Your heart aches, but only for a moment. Nothing can ruin this day. Your little daughter is all grown up and getting married. Now strain the noodles and bring them and the sauce out to the dinner table. Your father in law says you overcooked the onions, and he's right.