over the past few days i gathered many of Guts' favorite things and put them in a shadow box. when i was folding the baby blanket Grendel got so interested, sniffing it, and flopped against it 
i loved making him a behelit for his birthday, it makes me sad I'll never make him another. i hoped for a dozen more, at least. i hoped I'd run out of ideas for making a new unique one. I'd been planning to make a pink one this year for his third birthday. a goofy one with a Ditto style face.
this pink fish was one of the first toys Guts played with. i had to sew it back together one time, and he watched me do it (impatiently).
i only just reprogrammed the auto feeder today. since guts has been gone the foodbowl kept overflowing. we only just got this feeder a few weeks ago and he went from being wary of it to scampering, prancing, or tokyo drifting to the foodbowl the second he heard it. we started saying stuff like "ohhhh he hit the jackpot!"
anyway.
i think the hardest thing is that i keep expecting to see him, or i see something like a jacket or blanket in my peripheral vision and think it's him.
i managed to get some work today but i was almost derailed when i noticed a long, dark piece of cat hair on my piano keyboard, probably from his tail.
