Thinking about Guts a lot today.
it's been one month since Guts left us, and a year since he had to go to the emergency vet for a urinary blockage.
we could have lost him a year ago instead of a month ago. I'm grateful for those last 11 months. i think after what happened last year, i sort of knew how hard losing him would be before it even happened. and I think it made me even more grateful for him in those 11 months. i'm so glad he was strong enough to make it last March. it's silly but i can't help feeling like those 11 months were specifically for me, and he stayed as long as he could.
i still cry randomly while doing normal things like: putting ice in my drink and not throwing a cube for him to play with, printing something and not having him standing up watching the printer with all the obsession he could muster, using mouth wash and not having him squint at me if I breathed too close to him with my minty breath, cooking a meal and not having him stand at his full height against the fridge stretching his paws up towards whatever I'm making, answering the callbox and not seeing him debate whether or not he should hide in case the callbox means someone coming inside our apartment.
i'm so grateful for the woodburning that kevin commissioned for my birthday back in December. It wasn't a memorial then, but it is now.