i've found it not that easy to make friends as an adult, not because i find it hard to get on with people socially or have awkwardness or whatever, but just because i'm usually at home (fatigued and in pain) and it doesn't feel like there's a lot to "do" out in the world that would bring me into contact with new folks, and repeated contact is sort of what you need, and that's before actual personal compatibility comes in, and i am not for everybody. getting along well with folks is easy but an actual lasting easy rapport is hard. so having a lot of people i sorta know on the internet has been really valuable, and it's never felt more fragile
it's not just cohost going away, but cohost having materialised right as twitter was becoming fucked, then keeling over with nothing really to replace it, at a time when every service anyone relies on feels an inch from death. i have a pretty popular and nice discord a lot of people benefit from, but because it's based in games stuff it skews younger and nerdier than i am myself such that it sometimes feels i only "fit in" via owning it, and discord will surely soon die or beg for death.
i spent all day feeling like shit after waking up to the cohost news, which has never happened to me with anything else like that, and the days since have been much better but the day it actually goes away feels like it's gonna be the start of a lonelier than usual time. it's hard to find your folks, man
i think i'll try to go to the next gdc or something. that was really good 10 years ago
