You know, I'm sure that by someone's metrics I qualify as a detransitioner which is sort of weird to think about.
I have zero regrets, but like, I have definitely gone from being very insecure about myself, to experimenting with gender, and subsequently coming out the other side massively more secure in my masculinity and what that means to me - and I'm positive some (cis, incurious) people would see that from the outside and think "Oh he changed his mind".
Actually I'm sure the people that might think that are exclusively from the pool of people who when I came out, instantly assumed I was exclusively transfemme despite me being very upfront about being Enby. Looking at you, certain family members.
this is good illumination on why I think we'd be better off eliminating the term "detransition" entirely. it frames harmless experimentation as a mistake. it's indelibly associated in the public mind with a body "permanently scarred" by "the wrong" hormones — simultaneously reinforcing stigmas around trans bodies, and usurping sympathy for them onto (assumed-)cis ones.
I'd love to see a real push to change the language to retransition, because it's really exactly that and the implications of "did it more than once!" are far better for everyone than "shouldn't have in the first place."
As much as I get where you're coming from, the term retransition just isn't comfortable for some of us. When I first detransitioned I didn't have much issue with the term but was a little confused with it being applied to me because to me it meant going back to your trans identity after detransitioning.
But since then I've had countless people pressure me to use this term, usually well-meaning cis people, and every time it's made me dislike it more. I'm so tired of being told I'm not allowed to use the term detransition when ultimately its the most comfortable and straightforward term for what I did.
I don't think it's the fault of the word that people are scared of detransition, it's the fault of years of anti-trans detransitioners campaigning against healthcare and terfs fear mongering about mutilation. I genuinely don't see how changing de- to re- will combat any of that because most transphobes will still use the de- term, and others will just start applying the same transphobic rhetoric to the term retransition.
I would love to see more solidarity between the de/retrans community and the trans community. I'd love to see more healthcare and support for de/retrans people. I'd love to see anti-radicalisation work, and awareness of exactly how de/retransitioners are exploited & preventing that happening.
I'd love to see less stigma around regret instead of pretending regret never happens, and accepting that its OK to make a decision you regret and learning how to cope with that and rebuild instead of turning the feeling against others.
I'd love to see more people talking about the huge range of experiences that fit into de/retransition. I'd love to see body positivity around de/retrans bodies, and solidarity with body positivity for trans people.
I wouldn't love to see us eliminating the use of terms some of us are strongly connected to for various reasons.
