i've been kind of sporadic on making music for the past 2-3 years... i've mostly made it for personal events in RP stuff or for the VNs when i post/make them, or for participating in music prompt stuff. which has been fine, i've liked that. but i feel like i've continually had some kind of reservations about it that have made it hard to really dive into it wholeheartedly at points, even if i'm putting a lot of myself into it. lately this is something i feel like i've shed... and that's been really nice. i started making music for Fox Flux Deluxe again (after not having made music for it since the demo came out 7 years ago!!!) and it feels SO different to do it now. the music flows so much more easily than it did back then?
at the time i struggled with making any music that wasn't super dark sample-based stuff. my mood was often dark and that's the place i liked to be in when i made music. that's the place where i felt catharsis. that did NOT match the mood of fox flux, and so trying to compose for that made me feel like i wanted to pull my hair out. i am very happy to say i don't feel this way anymore and also i feel confident working with instrumentals in ways that, back then, i felt reluctant to touch, often. in part i feel like trying to cover a song for the cover ring helped me with this... since i had to hand transcribe a bunch of notes from a tracker thing... and i'd never done this before, and just getting to take a look at someone else's song really helped with this. it made me feel more confident in just... putting melodies together and playing with harmonies and stuff. and i was very happy that the recipient liked the cover! this felt really nice and i'm glad i participated. i feel like i've been getting out of my musical shell a little more and putting myself out there in ways that overall have made me feel happier with music and working on it. i love reconnecting with music in my actual core and i've made so much music in the past few days
i'm hoping i can make significant progress on fox flux deluxe's soundtrack and do something really fun with it. i'd like to put my full heart into it and tons of feelings, as i really want eevee's game to have something very memorable? i love when soundtracks feel appropriate and memorable. i really want to work on the mood of places and help her with tone and stuff. she's been putting so much work into her new builds of the game and it's been really nice to see her motivation. so i'm hoping i can do my part in making her game stand out and be memorable in this way
anyway i've got more thoughts i want to share over time... but i wanted to write about this while i had the urge to talk about it. hope everyone's been having a good week