When you were angry
You never hid it
Each time you snapped
Screamed out in frustration
Threw things and slammed doors
Mom was mad at me
Despite your reassurance
I still assumed
Now carrying this
Burden with me
Knowing
The boiling sensation
After sitting silently
So consumed by fury
When the pressure bursts
Your hatred in my voice
Your pain in my eyes
Your exhaustion in my tears

Rogue waves out at sea
In the night
Memories come crashing in
Enveloping every crevice
Frigid
Caustic brine
Taking your breath away

In blackness
Deprived of sensation
There is no present
So consumed by idolatry
Halcyon nostalgia
There is no future
Living in the shadows
Of giants

Understanding complex outputs
Describing the languages
Of organic machinery
Requires costly exchange
The burden of interpretation
Often with nuance
Lost in translation
Somewhere down the line
So that vibrations
Cannot ever capture
Visceral truth
Buried in words

terminal lucidity
or whatever you want to call it
the moment of clarity
right at the end
when you realized
fate was pulling you one way
for a reason
and yet you persisted
down the wrong path
well past the point
of no return
to a destination
just as unfulfilling
as where you began