So much of my existence is informed by my diverse communities. So much of the way I think about the world is a synthesis of the approaches I've learned from the many different types of people I know and love and listen to. But it's so, so clear that that is not how many people think. And at this point, it's not even jarring anymore. I see the limitations of people's empathy so often that it's just... normal.

I'm used to thinking about how transness and disability and other marginalizations intersect, and how we can take lessons that one group has learned and apply them in other contexts. I know many people on this site are like this as well. But when I spend time with groups of "normal" people, I really wonder how you can exist in the world and not see these things. But they do, and they do in a way that affects me.

This week, in my Exploring Jewish Living class, we talked about Pesach. We talked about a lot of things. Food traditions, cleaning up chametz, the seder. And I have heard repeatedly that the synagogue will try to match us with families hosting seders, and people in my class talking about the big seders they're so glad they can host/attend again now that it's not COVID times. And I just... sit there... and think: but what about me? What about me and all the people like me, who deserve to be included because we exist too? But I didn't want to be that bitch who still cares about COVID, and ruins their fun, so I just sat there.

This is not the first time I was worried about being the Fun Police in class, or even just the One Who Makes It Weird. I'm used to thinking of things as interconnected and applying the lessons that other groups learn across contexts. Worried about having to explain to a colleague that you keep kosher at home but are vegetarian the rest of the time? Great news! Take a page from your disabled comrades and simply state your access needs. "Thanks for inviting me! I eat vegetarian." If you decide to go into more detail, great! You don't have to. If they make it a problem, they're the asshole. But it sounds like my classmates don't even know any disabled people other than me, and even if they did, they wouldn't realize their friends' techniques for navigating an ableist world could apply to their own lives.

We were assigned to watch a few Youtube videos this week as class prep. One of them quoted Primo Levi as saying that he did not truly feel his freedom from Auschwitz until someone else offered to share their food with him. And "at that moment, we ceased to be prisoners, and we became free human beings". Sharing a meal is a symbol of freedom. Wouldn't it be nice if we all could share that meal?