grey

that is really so much the way it is, lmao. 😩😔 what i'm working on was meant to be a 5+1 things (and all of them sex) but somewhere along the line it became, like, the most excruciating, devastating, and tragic thing i could do to the pov chara.

edit: and if confusion for why am i here -- apparently i track the nsfw fanfic tag??? to see other fanfic writers??? (i don't remember doing this, but hi).

@maleviolent here's the continuation of the thread

okay, i'm going to edit the explanation i wrote yesterday a bit now that i know you're familiar with the characters :3
also, uhh, this is a very rough draft. but hey if you have any notes or ideas, i'd love to hear them!

edit: i actually completely rewrote everything here from scratch 🫥 it's more than 2k words. i am so sorry but also thank you i love info dumping :3
it absolutely helped me though because it forced me to reflect more on the story and decide on how things will fit together

my story is really a combination of various little ideas. i've read a really good klance fic around a year ago that was childhood best friends to lovers and i loved it so much that i got really into kuroken (haikyuu) fics for a while because that's like their whole dynamic. (super cute, but way harder to find than klance because a lot of the fics tacked as kuroken just have them as secondary or even less important background ships.)

-- the traumatic childhood stuff --
as for inspiration. idk i just needed some trauma for two that would somehow separate them even though they are best friends and then allow them to make up later. also keith's dad being dead is canon i think? and his mom canonically left him when he was a baby. so keith was destined to be an orphan from the start ig 🥲

the background of the story is that the two of them were best friends (though still rivals) their entire childhood - like basically from birth. lance always struggled with his self-worth and it's only made worse when everyone compares him to keith who just outperforms him in basically everything they do. then there's some cataclysmic event (haven't decided what, i don't want to write lance's parents actively abusing him or anything. still workshopping that) and lance basically breaks. he probably blames keith because he doesn't understand yet that it isn't keith's fault but the fault of the adults constantly comparing him to and asking him to be more like keith.

okay so here is where my ideas of what happens get pretty vague. the rough concept is that lance ghosts keith, like fully pretending he is not there. and this goes on for a while. i guess at least two weeks so it has enough of an impact (like if lance just ignored keith for a day, ig keith would just shrug it off as a bit weird). and keith is really lost in that time. he is very antisocial and lance is definitely his only friend who he relies on a lot for support. so when lance suddenly wants nothing to do with keith, keith is just spiraling.
then again, something has to happen. maybe they take an important test at school and keith just hands in an empty paper and then keith's mom talks to lance's mom and lance's mom asks lance about it. and then lance gloats about finally being better than keith in something and maybe he's finally enough. then lance's mom find out how much they all fucked up lance and she has a long conversation with lance about it. and so lance figures out that he fucked up.

and then comes the scene. lance finally understands what he did and how he hurt keith and he starts sprinting out of his home and towards keith's house (it's probably raining, yk, for dramatic effect). and when he is about to cross the street with keith's house on the other side he sees shiro leading keith to his car (probably with matt in there because shiro and matt are dating). now shiro looks really pained, but keith just has an absolutely blank stare. and lance stops in his tracks and just stands there unable to move. then when keith is about to enter the car he notices lance standing there. they both look at each other for probably 10 seconds. then keith gets in the car and they drive off.

the next day in school lance gets told that keith's parents were called for a meeting at the school because of the test and canceled a trip to drive back home. then they got into a car crash (oh, i could make the rain on that day just be the most extreme downpour and that's not only a thematic element to frame the scene but also the reason keith's parents died in the first place 👀). anyway, now there's a causal relationship between lance ghosting keith and keith's parents dying, so lance fully gives himself the blame for all that. then lance is way too afraid to talk to keith and from keith's perspective lance didn't want anything to do with him anymore, so keith won't be contacting lance either.

-- in-between then and college --
well, they don't talk anymore. keith now lives with shiro, matt, and pidge. why does matt raise pidge? idk plot reasons :D
now pidge, in my head canon, is enby aroace and has absolutely no boundaries and no filter. i picture keith and pidge's relationship kinda like mae and gregg from night in the woods (with keith being mae and pidge being gregg). crimes! so yea, pidge would have absolutely no problem embarrassing keith in front of his friends 😈

actually, pidge having this sort of dynamic with the group has been my head canon for a while. an early fic idea i had was to do a vld wayfarer series au (the wayfarer series by becky chambers. the first book, "the long way to a small, angry planet" is probably my favorite book of all time. it's a scifi story that is really a character study of a pretty queer diverse group of people stuck in a small spaceship for months during a tunneling job. it is fantastic. and the other three books are bangers too). i'll stop myself here because i already started writing the next tangent explaining how it worked there.

-- in college --
basically, lance started going to community college and then goes on to go to university for his master's degree (i don't really know all that much about the us higher education system. i'm european we do that differently i think) together with hunk. now hunk helped lance study all throughout community college and is a big reason for why lance had the grades to get into that university with hunk. on week one, hunk wants to meet up with his internet friend, pidge. and lance agrees to go with him. at the same time, keith agrees to go with pidge to meet hunk. so,,, yea. they run into each other. both of them being taken completely off guard. and as at least i would absolutely do in that situation pretend they are old acquaintances and that's all there is to their relationship.
now i think keith would probably not talk about lance to anyone much. ig the only thing pidge would know is that he used to have a friend called lance when he was little. same for hunk. lance would feel too ashamed to tell hunk about keith. so hunk and pidge would absolutely just be like "ah cool, you already know each other. that makes this even easier" and they all just start hanging out as a group.

-- the birthday party --
so then we are at the party. lance just stands in front of keith's door for a while because they still haven't talked a word about anything and he's really not sure if keith wants him to be there. but also it would be weird if he didn't show up. so he just stands there procrastinating making a decision. but then hunk comes and brings a load of boxes of food he cooked for them all. and just presses some into lance's hands and knocks in the door, completely oblivious to lance's turmoil. they go in, everything is normal. the whole gang plus shiro is there and they talk a bit and then start eating the dinner hunk prepared. after that, they all settle on the couch. shiro tells keith and pidge that he'll be very disappointed if he has to drive anyone to the hospital for alcohol poisoning and then leaves.
then they start giving keith their presents. lance's present is an old video game from their childhood. keith's favorite, that his parents wouldn't get him and so he always either borrowed it from lance or played it when he was over at lance's.
and then everything goes downhill for a bit. keith is like "wtf, so you do remember that we used to be best friends??" and they hash out everything that i already discussed above. now, in the fic i would explain all the backstory here through implications of what they say and flashbacks. then yeah, they let out all the built up baggage and it probably ends with both of them crying in each other's shoulder.
hunk and pidge would probably ask them if they want to call it a night, but lance and keith just feel so relieved and want to enjoy the rest of the night. so i'm thinking alcohol and mario kart for a bit and then pidge suggesting playing truth or dare.

as i said yesterday, truth or dare would start out pretty tame. a few basic questions, hunk gets dared to finally ask shay on a date. then some more questions where it turns more to sexuality and lance finds out that pidge is aroace. he doesn't know a lot about that so he'd say something like
lance: "so that means, uh, you don't like,,,, idk, get horny or anything?"
pidge: "i'm not sexually attracted to anyone. but i do get horny sometimes and then, like any normal person, i ste- 'borrow' one of keith's dilods and get myself off."
keith: "omg! pidge!"
pidge: "oh, come on! i take one of the small ones that you wouldn't use anyway. there's no way i could use your big knotted o-"
keith: "OMG! SHUT UP! YOU ANSWERED THE QUESTION!"

okay then just a few more rounds that would definitely be something like lance getting keith, keith chooses truth and lance asks him what a knotted dildo is.
and then pidge getting keith, keith, having learned from his mistake, choosing dare and then pidge daring him bring his dildo.

and then the rest happens like i described in my last post. now, i probably will send hunk home at some point because i honestly don't want him to suffer through all that. pidge is a menace. they instigated this. but hunk doesn't have to deal with it.

so this end of then, when everyone else is gone, lance daring keith to demonstrate his dildo riding skills as you so beautifully put it, is really the idea this whole fic developed from. and it originally wasn't even about klance. it just turned into it when i thought about the setup and everything and it just worked so much better in this dynamic.

but originally, the idea was for it to be an arvo/lake fic. they are from the furry visual novel "dawn chorus". arvo is the protagonist and pov and lake is just the best. so precious 🥺 <3
so in the visual novel, they are both first semester university students on a school trip. arvo is gay and in the closet and lake is,,, a bunch of stuff but also that's part of the story so, since i want everyone to play the vn i won't say a lot more about that. anyway, at some point in the trip the group of people also play truth or dare and when you're on the right route, bjorn, who's a bear, will also play and someone is like "is it true that bears have giant dicks? that must be so good to find a partner" and bjorn is like "uh, yea. but actually it's not that great because i worry i'd hurt my partner" and then lake, my beloved, mutters (pretty sure everyone can hear it, though) essentially "i could take him". fjdkalsfdkfjdskl :D

so yea, the idea originally was a dawn chorus fic where after the trip arvo would come over to lake's dorm room open a wardrobe for some reason (as in i still needed an excuse for that) and then a giant dildo falls out. lake is like "aaaaa! omg you didn't see anything" and arvo just stands there for a while and then says something like "you can use that? ...can i,,, uh,,, can i see?"

finally, here are some pictures from dawn chorus

here's arvo (left) and lake (right)
also the patreon discord has so many wild memes. anyway, here's lake's old sprite that someone put a maid dress on (and arvo and jorgen into the pocket)