very basic. one of my favorite things to make. i could eat it all day. my mom'd originally derived it from some online recipe for a 'reuben bake' by taking out the sauerkraut because i didn't like sauerkraut like, that much. as a result its just meat and cheese and dough.
but hey its like a big thick meat n cheese sandwich and makes me feel unstoppable when i rip into a quarter. when i reheat leftovers in the michaelwave, the croissant dough kind of returns to a doughy state, but that's part of the experience to me? i like that about it tbh. different leftovers experience
what your ass needs to get in on this action
- oven
- spatula
- big ol oven dish. big ol rectangular oven dish that's glass or ceramic-y. idfk.
- 2 canisters cwoissant dough, presliced into the triangles
- 2 of those deli sliced cheese packs, like 10 slices about, more the merrier. i usually use swiss and provolone
- a pound of sliced pastrami. (or like, whatever you can get. any deli meat works i've done it with roast beef and ham before. doesn't even have to be a pound if you don't want that kind of commitment, can be more than a pound if you do).
how your ass can make it
- preheat to the crescent rolls' specification
- roll out a layer of dough on the bottom of the dish. maybe try to make the cuts not lopsided but don't worry too much about it.
a. steal a lil dough off the corner from the bit that's kind of still a lil bunched up at one end cause your sides aren't balanced. i know you left them kind of lopsided you sicko. this is your reward: you get to sneak a little croissant dough for yourself. no one will ever know you little fucking freak i love you for this - throw it in the oven for the low end of the croissant time specified.
- pull it out
- evenly lay out one of your cheeses atop in a nice manner. make it pleasing to you.
- do your best to lay out the meat neatly atop, accepting it will never be as perfect or even as your cheese. we cannot all be perfect - and at least youll be getting some juicy meats anyway no matter how you slice it
- lay out another appealing layer of cheese. worry as much as you like about evenly spacing them
- roll your second layer of dough atop the same way you rolled the first one. it'll be uneven in like exactly the same way.
a. sneak some dough from this too if you want. i can't fucking stop you. you are the doughmeister. you are ungovernable - throw it back in the oven for 20 or so minutes? maybe a little longer even.
- pull it out.
- take your spatula and just like. shove it into the seams along the quarters and along the dish edges while it's still on the cool. really mash it into those lines. be brutal. use the spatula as a makeshift cutter. rend the meat apart into nice quarters
- take a quarter for yourself. or two. three if you're bold and also don't have anyone else to share it with (though you probably should? cant stop you though). wait for it to cool off just enough to eat it with your hands. bite into it. pull it apart with your teeth. scrape the pan for cheese thats crusted on and shit and just add it onto your plate. lick the plate when you're done, get all the Juice. save what's left in a container or a zip bag or something in the fridge. also lick the dish out when you're done, get all the Juice and the Crust and all that good stuff
thanks for coming to gull teaches you how to cook. there will be no part 2
btw the magic of this is literally who's stopping you from adding sauerkraut again? who's stopping you from adding literally any fixing you desire? what's stopping you from making this the meat cheese croissant cake of your dreams??? who's going to prevent you from living your best life????
