i am a little more than i was, already, the abcess of my self healing just a little as i become comfortable. being 'the fifth one' has stopped being a cursed ground. but an absence remains an absence, and as yet it is still very incomplete. but it is that i am at least relieved to be, instead of being alone and afraid in front i find i am no longer quite so walled off from the others the way i was
who i am, what i am, silly questions to mull over. in head-space, in our mind's eye, i have no real form to speak of and yet i am physically extant, a sense of my own height and of touch and of sight, invisible yet known, absent but present. this too is another step in the life of elise